"And if it's wrong?": the fear of making mistakes


"And if suddenly will not work? But if it's wrong?
how to do the right thing? Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah.....", - worries of a modern woman and suffer from insomnia.

the Fear of making mistakes - the scourge of modern life.
Everything should be decorous, noble and beautiful. Immediately, no errors allowed! One must live in clean copy!

Anxiety, fear, worry, weight problems, psychosomatic disorders are the consequences of such painful doubt.

Girls perfectionist, educated and cultured mothers can't be wrong! Did they remember more this time.

But if the school was hopeful that the nightmare will be over by the end of it, in 30-40 years, the hope that here-here will come the right life began to dry up.
Adult life mercilessly demands: "Come on! Make the decisions! Let's take responsibility! Let's make a choice!"

Hundreds of all kinds of tips swallow women to live on the right: "5 tips to make him love", "10 tips to make the marriage work", "8 tips to get an unforgettable orgasm"...

what? Everything is healed suddenly, happily, stopped a divorce? Or, the problem of anorgasmia in women gone?

No, absolutely not. But after many attempts to apply these tips and live right, you know, if it worked, the profession of psychotherapist would not exist.

it turns out that other people's advice for happiness in your own life are not working at 100%. and ... Well, do the math on how it works.


Because in fact (in reality) may not be such that someone about you, about your feelings and aspirations and knows better than you. You really would like, and so it would be easier, but no. It's really impossible. Agree?

However, a treacherous fear to hope and continue to dream that there are someone big and important, and he's smarter than you, he always knows the right thing to do and you must respect him. this has already happened. And to change this scary. And not - "a-na-na"! According to the Pope.

Usually, this attitude is created in childhood. Mom (or dad) knows that it is better to wear, what to say, how to teach lessons, make friends with anyone, what UNIVERSITY do etc Mom always knows better. And if you suddenly go their own way or not do, as invented mother (this is particularly clear when the mothers know how to practise them, and require excellent ratings, no matter what), then you will face punishment (and possibly bodily), or dislike, rejection of the parent. "How could you do that, you ingrate! Did not listen to the mother here. Look what's happened!" sounds the sentence that makes it clear that the next time decisions to accept not worth. When this is repeated several times, formed a defensive reaction – do like your Mama said to have fewer problems. This occurs from the fact that while you were little and you didn't have resource to fight big and smart mom, and I really wanted to keep her love and affection.

That's why with time there is a deficiency of self-confidence, the ability to take risks, to take responsibility for their choices. One time it even is useful, beneficial, since it is not necessary to strain to think, to question. And it finally relaxes and seduces. Mom said you did. All. If you did not – your mother's fault, if it – mom is always right. Gradually, this strategy was passed on to other people who take the place of all-knowing mom and telling you how to act and what to do.

it Turns out that other people's advice and recommendations deprive you of very important life skills. And over the years, all keenly felt their lack.

But such recommendations right living directly lead to NEUROSES and alienation from their own desires and meanings.

it is hard to live always according to the principle: THAT's RIGHT, BECAUSE the OTHER SAID SO. Because he said that ACCORDING to THEIR beliefs and opinions, and maybe just to sell their service of a competent adviser.

And if suddenly you could not "how to", mode: self-DESTRUCTION BECAUSE self-punishment. Same as "a-na-na" by the Pope. And again, looking for what to do, asking others.

a Vicious circle. How to be?

Yes, as they say: "I know how to live right just the trees". And people have to learn this. What? Trust yourself, take risks, and be responsible for their choices.

Because "to live properly and happily" is because each in their own way - someone to sleep until 11 am and someone to work 3 jobs without sleep and rest. For someone to live in a family where five children and the sixth plan, and for someone - on a childfree - no kids.
The right way is for each individual.


Want to stop worrying about the choice?

you Want to breathe freely and understand what is right for you?

Want to learn how to trust yourself and your feelings?

Want to get rid of guilt?

These and other questions you can ask the psychologist in person.

Ripka Svetlana
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