Marina (name changed), 13 years old. the
Came to me with the request that she did not understand and do not accept in the team, and she would like to understand how to fix it.
Should specify that the girl is brought up in a Christian home with a strong structure and a fairly rigid boundaries.
we used the deck: Emitions, Emotions of fate, I and everything.
At all stages, the Marina choose the cards in an open way.
Step 1 "can you Tell me about yourself."
With cards from the deck Emotions sounded such a story:
I Have a very rich inner world. There is everything - your home, travel, lots of friends. And together we have fun, we find a common theme and joint activities. Although sometimes it scares me, just confusing. Because I want to, and not...
And I like the freedom, the feeling of joy and flight. I would like to fly your dream. But to go forward in my way obstacles. Because we do not accepted. I must obey, because if I do not obey, something about my parents will think that they are bad.
So they got me constantly trying to take something that didn't have time for nonsense and pipe dreams. They think they've done me well, and in fact, they just cut me wings they took away the dream! And now I have it again... I get very mad at them sometimes. Can even be rude, to snap... Although in my heart I'm not. I am a loving daughter and sister (I have another younger sister), caring, affectionate. That's just no one understands me. And friends also. Or rather, they do not consider me a friend, all to keep away because I don't like them. And I have to do the impossible, to somehow obaschatsya with them, play and make friends. Sometimes you want to drop everything and go so far that they all then watched and envied me.
Here is the pre-story Marina about yourself and a disturbing situation. Separately clarified that parents do not welcome her fellowship in the circle of classmates, fellow sports clubs and neighborhood children, because the family's religious and "worldly" environment can bring down the Marina on the right track.
Consequently, mostly communication and pastime is happening among believers (Sunday school, Christian camp, etc.).
However, as noted by the girl herself, she doesn't like it because "it's too proper and boring." And also don't understand her.
Next to step # 2, using the card, "I and all-all-all" when Marina tried to identify patterns that it broadcasts to the outside, and how the external environment perceives it. It came out like this (from top left and clockwise):
I know I have them all very different. And even if we do something together, all the same - every man for himself. We're not a team... I'm not a part of this team.
I don't know what in fact, I scored shy Bunny... Who sits and hides, while the others around are having fun. And I'm scared to show that I too with them.
know I am interested in many things, and I'm interested in everything. And I have a lot to tell everyone. But I deal mostly with adults, I'm still a kid...What are they up to me...
Others do not know that I would love to be like them, be like them in everything. And to me the same as all of them...
we understand Here, and this was also confirmed during the discussion that in actual fact, this otstranenie and uncertain behavior Marina with peers is associated not so much with the lack of understanding on their part. It is, rather, a consequence. And the reason (one reason) - lies precisely in the fact that parents are deliberately protected her from communicating with their peers (exception - see above), so it is mostly among adults. Which, however, she virtually has no case because of its age. the
result: the inability to find a common language with their peers, the sense of uselessness and abandonment in relation to for adults.
Step 3 (the deck is "Emotions destiny") - here we discussed how feels a girl slozhivshiesya situation (upper row), and that she would and could do to have something changed (bottom row):
I feel: sometimes I just "light up". So you want to show that I have a lot of thoughts, of ideas I'd like to share. But... nobody wants to listen. And edinstvenny my companion is a horse (approx. Marina is engaged in equestrian sport). Sometimes, I feel a vicious circle.. as if something good m bad fights with each other in me. And I think that sometimes it's not even me, but someone else... And in those moments, I turn away from the whole world, I'm all alone. Although, I see here and there (last two cards) - there is a Teddy bear. It is as if the loneliness that I was just helping. Because that alone I can create and do something new (approx. Marina is also engaged in the drawing). This feeling like me and the other not. Don't even know anymore...
I want to do: I don't know... Sometimes I think my calling is a sport. Since my best friend is a horse, then it would be great to go to win, to achieve something. If I show that I am the champion, I will perceive differently... But the most important thing is to calm down. Because when I'm on the emotions, it affects the result. The horse also feels that I feel bad, hurt, scared... I don't have to be afraid to go beyond the boundaries of their dreams. Because dreams are as space. And if I dream about something it will come true. Just need to focus and think about how to achieve this. I've already said that I am caring and loving. So I would sometimes think that inside of me blooms a garden. It's too bad more don't see it. I have to show it. I just need to be more open, not shy. See, now the gates are open. And behind them is my garden. There are very nice!
In the context of listening, it becomes more or less clear that the current behavior pattern determined not only by the example to follow Marina watches in their environment, but also the fact that her parents, albeit with the best of intentions, though, "cut her wings" by limiting the freedom of choice and their firm control. br>
Step 4 - "to sit"
Here Marina remembered the expression "to live With wolves-wolf howl". For her it meant that it was necessary somehow to start to adapt to the environment in which she wants to fit in.
Since this is a little difficult, she decided to find someone from classmates/neighbors who she could trust, and who might be to help her with the "introduction".
Next, we spoke of what qualities her in itself is not enough, and what would be good to develop. Among them was belief in yourself, perseverance and dedication. br>
by the Way, what is remarkable, the picture resource has been matched very symbolic: someone who is experienced and knowledgeable, helps Marina to adapt and become similar to others (paints her stripes, like myself). br>
our meeting ended.