We all want in our life was less negative and more positive emotions. It seems that this is happiness.
it is Unlikely that happiness can be reduced to a simple mathematical formula where numerator — the emotions positive and the denominator negative. However, to create for themselves a life situation where positive emotions prevail over negative ones, we can.
If you ask us to list positive emotions, we all willingly call: joy, fun, pleasure, excitement, ecstasy, etc. the same with The negative: shame, sadness, depression... We are experiencing positive emotions, when we feel good, and negative when we feel bad. This scheme is familiar and straightforward - like ciliate from the experiment scientists, fleeing from salt water to fresh water, we try to leave the situation in which we feel bad about what we signal and negative emotions and be where we belong.
However, life is much more complicated than just two drops of water: salt and fresh water. Not always possible to leave a situation in which we feel bad. For some reason the person continues to work on unloved work, to live with the unloved person, or even in a situation of violence. Negative emotions can go overboard, all sensors and indicators are screaming — get out of there, it is bad, dangerous!
Sometimes a person really listens to the "readings" and sometimes... Yes, sometimes he prefers these same devices "disable". Psychologists use the word "dissociation". The person dissociates, separating themselves from their emotions, ignore them. These "devices" are, as if you were apart from him. Then psyche, in order to show to the person that you need to change the situation, connect already and the body, sometime.
Sometimes, in the analysis of psychosomatic symptoms of the client, it becomes apparent that these symptoms might arise in certain situations in life, in certain circumstances. One of the clients suffering from high blood pressure, told me that when she came to her work, she feels that on her shoulders, as if a great weight bore down.
Most interesting is that she did not connect their work and hypertension. Then, when a more detailed story about the work, she described a lot of negative stories, we were able to pull out of her and anger towards colleagues, and other emotions that she suppressed as would separate them from myself, not allow myself these emotions to feel, or rather let them into the field of consciousness.
But what if the person is even aware that in this job or with this person it is bad, still not willing to change their life situation, preferring an unhappy life, full of negative emotions, and even disease that have cause this situation to change. If we are talking about is not about yourself, but about somebody else something for nothing. It is the choice of the person, even if we really want to help him, to relieve suffering, it usually doesn't work. Our "opening the eyes" of another person in his situation, he either ignores or agrees with our assessment of the situation, but throws up his hands, saying nothing can do.
But if we are talking about You? If You do feel some kind of an impasse, you know that something needs to change, but what and how is unclear! Or even understand, but are afraid or have doubts. Maybe something can be changed inside the case? Somehow "desalinate" that little drop of salt water? Maybe I will gain the best skills, will work better; or even just talk with my husband, and he will change?
it can be. People do change, and the boss or angry colleague might resign and You will be able to breathe on your work. But, after all, what do you do if You feel that something is wrong in your life that your mood is often reduced?
first, try to monitor the situations in which or after which typical event your mood change from positive to negative. Try to analyze your emotions, at least to start with, just call them: "I feel sad" or "I'm angry". Even from the mere fact of naming emotions is usually easier.
second, try, still, to deal with this your location or typical situations in your life. What makes You feel these negative emotions? And what can be done to change the situation?
Most importantly, do not separate from himself, not dissotsiiruut their emotions. Understand that these emotions signal to You about the danger that it is impossible to ignore them, especially if they are strong and frequent. Their disregard and suppression can lead (and often leads) to extremely negative consequences — depression, psychosomatic illnesses, chronic depressed mood that is making you unhappy.
Well, why to be unhappy if you can be happy? :)