Very often parents, to counseling, to assure and trying to tell me that the psychologist is a “whim” and he did not need children. Arguing: “Well, we somehow grew up without psychologists and nothing became good people!” And then I ask them a question:
" Yes!" - meet the parents a call, with a little look away to the side.
-And you want the same happiness for their children?
After this issue, there is a pause.
as I have no need to catch the contradictions, and there is a desire to explain, I cite a simple example: about the differences between “then and now”, they talk about the defense mechanism of identification. (Identification - it's a primal, identification with the other person, the transfer of feelings and qualities desired but not available, this causes the elevation to another, by expanding the borders of their own «I».) This allows you to overcome feelings of inferiority and anxiety, to change their “I” so that it was better adapted to society. Previously, all children were positive idols and heroes.
of Course parents willingly agree and happy to share examples from your life, thinking about Timur and his team, about the children of war, about Zoya Kosmodemyanskaya and Alexander Matrosov. These people admired, been proud of them, they wanted to be like and knew it was real, knew how to enter and what to do! And proud if you managed to find morality, strength, and patience.
And now? Now the period of abundance of information and employment of parents. the role of the idol come PSEUDOCUMENE. The heroes of comics, movies YouTube. It turns out that the horrible statistics of suicides among adolescents experts from Japan, associated with dissatisfaction with heroes who could help them to cope with their complex requirements “difficult youth”. To survive the crisis, to find reference points to determine the direction.
So maybe the child, which has problems, we need an expert psychologist?