Stairway to the conflict, and why we run it.

so, the conflict, how it develops and what steps are taken?

Or as we move to the conflict like jumping from one step to the next, and in the end we reach ...... or stop to.....

Sociologists P. A., Chepenko and G. A. Voronin are the following stages on which the conflict develops:

1. Predisposing. It is associated with the emergence of conditions in which it may arise a clash of interests.

for Example - every Saturday the husband is watching "his" program, the wife wants at the same time to watch "his" program. The premise for the conflict.

2.The origin of the conflict. At this stage, develop predisposing conditions under which the planned collision. For example – wife asked to leave her program, her husband objected.

3.Maturation of the conflict. If in the previous stage clash planned, at this stage, it is inevitable. The conflict begins to develop the conflict setting for the action in one direction or the other, or rejecting them. For example – you never have to do anything for me, even now you don't want to give me. Or – well, see the show, and then go for a walk with children.

4.Awareness of the conflict. If at the previous stage, the subject of conflicting relations was at the level of intuitive expectations, anticipation of a conflict situation, the stage of realization he begins to comprehend, to analyze the causes of conflict and to develop possible course of action. For example – what do you cling to me every Saturday with this program, I'm unable to take on Saturday work days, just so you cuddled up to me. Possible line of conduct – avoiding the conflict.

5. "Collision" or "explosion". There is the fact of conflict of interest in one form or another: verbal, activity, open, hidden, etc. for Example – you only have to run your job, maybe you do not love me, and I don't want to be with me. Yes you run though, always clinging to me, etc.

But most of the conflict is manifested in different forms at the same time.

6.The extinction of the conflict. It is characterized by the decline of the emotional-psychological and psychophysiological stress assessment of the impact of the conflict and the choice of further course of action. For example – I'm tired to fight with you over this, every time we get out of each other nerves, but then still not talking for two days. I agree with you, I do too. Let's solve this issue once and for all.

7. The resolution of the conflict. At this stage, the practical elimination of contradictions. For example – maybe buy a second TV, or take a piece of gear in the recording, if possible.

However! Not every conflict can find a solution. All depends on the degree of removal of contradictions and the creation of conditions that exclude them from the birth of the new.

And it would be great if these contradictions are eliminated. In fact, in life it is, to put it mildly, not absolutely so.

As a rule, a good theory, but in practice often not the solution to the conflict, and its attenuation care for one of your opponents and other strategies, which you will learn later, as everything is in order.

I'm Not going to scare you by the insolubility of conflicts, but I should warn you. Many of them can last for years!

I Hope that someone, starting even house mini-conflict "open" your file in the head, with preserved information and will stop before reaching the penultimate stage. Don't lose your life in this resource that will be useful to resolve conflict or better conflictto in his endeavor. Not so important where and with whom it happens, with her husband, a child, a colleague, it is important not to succumb to this emotional outbreak of fire, to cool it down, so as not to burn in the fire of conflict.

But back again to the beginning. What still causes conflicts. From growing up?

According to those polls Antsupov A. Y. and A. I. Shipilov the emergence and development of conflicts due to the action of four groups of factors and reasons: objective, personal, socio-psychological, organizational management.

1.Objective reasons are mainly the circumstances of interaction that led to a clash of interests, opinions, attitudes, etc.

Objective reasons lead to the creation of the pre-conflict situation. That is what we have, or how they say it.

2.Subjective reasons are mainly connected with the individual psychological characteristics of opponents, which lead to the fact that they choose to conflict and not any other way to resolve this resistance.

that is, the person is not going to compromise a solution, not inferior, not avoiding conflict, not trying together with opponent win-win to resolve the controversy, and selects the strategy of resistance.

I'm not going to write about the organizational and managerial causes of conflict, as it is a specific information necessary leaders. It is important to see the personal and socio-psychological reasons. By the way, they also affect organizational management.

3.Social-psychological causes arising from the interaction of people and their inclusion in different social groups. Here are a few common reasons.

· a Possible significant loss and distortion of information in the communication process.

Like a game of "broken telephone".

· In communication situations, people, or both people can't play those roles which expects from each partner in the interaction. The theory of the American psychologist, Eric Berne,

I was counting on you being a good mother, and you ........

You look like my father, and I thought you'd like it....

· people Misunderstanding that when discussing problems (especially complex), the mismatch can often be caused not by a fundamental divergence of views on the same, and approach the problem from different angles.

the Latter just gives the variability in the solution, but the emotional aspect and the unilateral approach each conflicting bothering to see it.

· Different ways of evaluating performance and personality each other.

the Conflict easily arises if there is a tentative agreement on ways to assess, and they are qualitative and quantitative, subjective and objective. Or each of us by virtue of education and of belonging to their social group are vaccinated us with the evaluation and verdict. Because the basis of any evaluation is the comparison.

· Psychological compatibility.

Here is an important temperament, speed of information perception and processing, psychological stability.

· Tense relations between people during the previous interaction.

Here only give an opportunity to spark the match and ignite the fire.

4. Personal causes of conflict are associated with individual psychological characteristics of people:

· One person is assessing the conduct of another as invalid (in the process of interaction in humans there is a range of options expected behaviors, communication, activities by another person that is a partner in the interaction).

the expected behaviour may be desirable, acceptable, undesirable and unacceptable. Play an important role in social attitudes acquired in childhood, this is good, this is bad, so you can do wrong.

· Low level of socio-psychological competence, i.e. the unpreparedness of man for effective action in conflict.

This all the time, no we were not taught to cope with conflict, and the more effective behaviour in conflict.

· Lack of resilience to the negative impact of stressful facts of the interaction.

the Immediate confluence of emotions and not the most pleasant feelings, such as anger and then aggression.

· Poorly developed in humans the capacity for empathy, i.e. understanding the emotional state of another person, empathy and compassion to him.

the Most simple – you do not understand me, I'm worried about us, and you...

· high or low level of claims.

I asked you to pour me hot water and this tea is about 80 degrees, quite cold.

· the Choleric type of temperament relatively more often can lead to resolution of them contradictory situations of conflict.

I've been 5 minutes, unbearable service, give the book of complaints.

· Accentuation of character. They appear in over-expression of individual traits or their combinations (e.g., aggressiveness).

If you don't shut up, I'll give you in the face.

variations of many examples, during the day, observe yourself, see where you are at which step you are. That takes you to negative behavior, or what words or behavior of other people affect you, your emotional state, bringing to conflict with the installation. Start to pay attention, and can be in your life, quarrels and quarrels will be less.

next time we look in the language of psychology on the psychological climate and try constructive methods of conflict resolution.

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