“Anger often comes to us, but often we come to him”.
to Feel anger is as natural as feeling joy or sadness. This is a very important emotion in human life, it often suggests that something is wrong, “incorrectly”. Of course we can fix any inconvenience, peacefully, but first we signals the need for change bellicose anger. Bore us it starts only in case when we do not know how to Express it constructively without hurting yourself and the people around us.
the First thing we should learn is to know and recognize the anger.
Where does the anger? The answer to this question is known to our body. Yes, it is very wise and the first reports about the emerging feelings. Someone heartbeat quickens and your palms sweat, someone starts “to turn the stomach” or hands in voltage takes the form of fists. Watch what part of the body responds to your anger. Remember these signals and pay attention to them. Only by accepting and realizing this sense, we could work with him.
There are many popular ways of getting rid of anger. Like a heavy burden, anger trying to dump on someone, to bury or to pretend it does not exist. These methods temporarily eliminate the discomfort, but not the problems that led to the feeling.
Let's “pain”, which we love to take to resolve the feelings of anger.
1) “No, I'm not mad, it was nothing”.
Surely you have met these angelic people who never get angry and offended. Maybe you yourself canonized.) In the body has long been “blood”, but this person prefers to ignore the presence of anger, gradually invalidity your psyche. The reason for that, of course, install that “mad bad” and “good girls/boys don't get angry”.
2) “Hit” anger.
Many companies choose to keep to themselves, exploding and destroying everything around. The blow often falls on loved ones, it is verbal or physical. One feels relieved only after ruining the mood of the other.
3) “Canned” anger.
Here we are talking about the suppression of anger. This method differs from the first in - denial - that the person is aware of the feeling seized him, but keeps him inside. This behavior often leads to psychosomatic diseases and depression.
unfortunately, a very common way. Men on the roads, violate the rules of the road swearing and screaming at the Windows, rolled up saleswoman getting off on the customers, are masters at throwing the anger on innocent people. Most often they choose someone who is a priori weaker and generally has no relationship to the situation that caused their anger. The results are quite obvious: problems are exacerbated, and anger comes into the world, and hitherto harmless person also acquires the feeling.
Method gracefully-intelligent, aristocratic. In this case, direct assaults, the offender will not wait, everything will be done in the style of a detective-Amateur Miss Marple. Or rather, not done. For example, your loved one has failed you in some situations. And then “just so happened” that you just “forgot” to make him something important. Invisible revenge also effectively leads to psychosomatics, as suppression of anger.
6) Remove physical stress.
Boxing method — time to go to the gym and how to ochlocratic pear (perhaps imagining it is someone's face). Actually, to redirect the anger in the gym — a very good out of the situation, at least, it is harmless to others. But still the problem not solve it.
7) action movies and thrillers.
In modern society, very popular movies in which the heroes are fighting a life and death, destroying everything in its path. Interestingly, to name a few of the scenes of destruction and aggression, people throwing thus his inner tension.
8) “the Syndrome of the loser”.
Some people have a habit of turning the anger on himself. They are angry at themselves because something went wrong and their expectations are not met. Defeatism sound very pessimistic: “I'm a loser”, “I lost", "my fault". All this gradually leads to inability to perceive the experience as something positive, and then to deep depression.
9) Immediate debriefing.
it would Seem that laudable desire — as soon as possible to discuss the situation that caused the anger, to share their feelings. But no, not so fast. When the kettle is boiling, he must not touch. Better to wait until they cool down. Most likely, the person who decided to discuss anger right in the moment, can very easily further trigger some feelings and explode. And the other answer will take a defensive position, closed or afraid.
10) ‘Drowned’ anger in wine.
the Use of alcohol or other chemical substances — often the result of what man wants to drown his unpleasant feelings. To forget, to relax, to lighten up for a short period of time, but after a collision with reality becomes even more painful. And sometimes all this leads to the implementation of the wrath in the intoxication and the terrible reports in the criminal chronicle.
How should we handle anger? Is it possible to manage it? Who is to blame? And so insidious people around us and circumstances? We'll discuss this in the next article. Now observe yourself: in what part of the body you feel anger and as I used it to Express?
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