3 things that ruin a child's life. The case of the first.


there was a famous psychologist Alfred Adler. One of the students Freud, which he (like all disciples of Freud) in the end quarreled in tatters and created his own theory.

But now it's not about this fascinating story, and one of the ideas being put forward by Adler. He believed that a man's life ruining three things:

1. Organic inferiority
2. Overprotection and spoiled
3. Neglect

I Offer to discuss all three, but I will Express my opinion and not the opinion of Adler on this account.

1. Organic inferiority

about this a lot to say. This, of course, trouble. But I think the best thing for children with organic disabilities - such is the reaction of others, which will allow them to maintain adequate self-esteem, to feel their involvement in society and their right to place in it.

Remember the movie "ray" about the history of one of the most famous jazz artists in history, Charles ray. By the way, look! Great movie! br>
So here it is, after witnessed the tragic death of his brother began to go blind. And behaved like his mother? She, seeing that healing is impossible, does not become excessive to take care of it. She stood there, cried, suffered, but did not intervene when he, bumping into chairs and walls mastered the new world - the world of darkness. And yet, he survived. And not only survived, but became a great musician. br>
And a great movie "1+1". Unless the main character does not understand his limitations? Of course I understand! But he wants to be treated not as a cripple, but as an equal person who does not need pity. In normal human communication.

I think it is this attitude - the right thing. Here is how he writes about Adler:

"If next to them will be someone who will distract their attention from themselves and interested in their other people, they are likely to engage mostly with their own feelings. Later, comparing himself with others, they just lose confidence, and can happen even in our present civilization, that feeling of lag they will have more and strengthened by pity, ridicule or avoidance on the part of comrades. All these circumstances may be forced to withdraw into himself, to lose hope to contribute to common life and to begin to consider themselves personally insulted this world"

Although, of course, there are situations where the violation is so strong that unaided man cannot survive. I know these stories, when all human life is completely dependent on those who are near. br>
But in contrast to the situation of the film "1+1" when there is no money to hire someone to provide this man's life. br>
And, alas, eternal life, to always be close.

of Course, there are state institutions, but whether they can replace the care that I receive from parents (and often it is the parents)? What will happen when they are gone? I have to be honest, there is no answer to this question...

About the first case of all. In the next post I will begin to discuss the situation of excessive care. However in a different way than Adler, but the meaning is similar. It would be, rather, not about pampering, but about hyperopic and direct command in the upbringing of the child. And discuss what this means and how to further ruins his life.

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