4 rules of perfectionism


Perfectionism is a rigid system of rules to live by and beliefs, a code by which one is guided in his life and greatly restrict the horizons.

Code of a perfectionist:

- I have to like. Not to disappoint anyone.
- I have to do everything perfectly. I have no room for error.
- it is impossible to cause laughter. If I'm funny – I'm a loser. I have to keep face

- must be like everyone else.
a Little bit more.

In the process of various traumatic life experiences (and they may be even a bad comment), the child develops the belief that he or not like, or unlucky, or just bad. Therefore, the entire life a person tries somehow to defend themselves with the following rules.

- I have to like. Sounds good, but to please everyone is not possible. There will always be people to whom certain things do not like. A perfectionist himself said that if anybody didn't like – I'm bad and don't deserve presence.

the Perfectionist can not pay a salary. These people work for the idea that you need to be good. No need to ask for a raise – what about me boss? Did not ask to leave – like I let you down? And who for me does it? My client, whose work was a couple hours spent reading psychology books. So when you receive the salary he almost asked the accountant to subtract the hours from the Timecard, as nothing (in his view) spent paid time.

- you Need to do everything perfectly. Thoroughly check the grammatical errors, bogged down in details, spend a lot of time to address minor issues and ultimately does not solve the problem. They blamed, accused of pettiness and slowness.

Many of my patients develop a website design for your company and do not give in layout. Write poetry, paintings, music – and all in the table. A perfectionist could find fault with everyone except themselves. Because from childhood accustomed to focus not on himself but on someone else's opinion, which is known to be unpredictable. But no room for error. I then people's eyes will look?

- I need to keep face. If they're laughing at me, I'm a loser. Loser is a nobody. Carefully monitor their words and actions, trying to predict the actions of others, read their minds. Not in a good way, of course. Afraid to speak in public, the head of a large company, for example, on the corporate party was afraid to say a toast: if I stammer, I forget words, everyone will laugh and you will cease to respect? So for corporate events either do not go or arrive late, when everyone was having fun.

- I have to be like everyone else. God forbid I saw in the supermarket without make-up! Everyone will look at me and laugh. It will be very embarrassing.

Nobody comes to a therapist saying, "I Have perfectionism, cure me!" It is revealed in the process.

what disorders are usually treated?

1.Depressive disorder up to suicide attempts

2. Generalized anxiety disorder

3. Panic disorder

4. Phobias, including social phobia

5. Alcoholism, drug addiction

6. Gambling

7. Eating disorders (compulsive overeating, anorexia).

In the following article in more detail to focus on the reasons for its occurrence.

Maxim Kirsanov
Статья выложена в ознакомительных целях. Все права на текст принадлежат ресурсу и/или автору (B17 B17)

Что интересного на портале?