When it comes to self-assessment, the vast majority of people operate with terms such as "low self esteem", "high self-esteem". In reality, all these things of practical use, have not, as they would imply some assessment of the person. Or, in other words, his "neopredelennii". After all, if a person evaluates themselves "low", it is obvious that it evaluates itself on a certain scale, which was not invented himself, and which was imposed on him.
In fact, all the problems with self-esteem just due to the fact that the person is trying to match some external criteria, norms, opinions, attitudes and etc. And (what is the root of the problem) is trying to match quite unconsciously, mentally justifying adopted, under the influence of the subconscious, decisions and choices made. Man, even in his head comes the idea that he doesn't have something to fit that with him, it's all right.
Even if you believe that self-esteem you are all OK, by diagnosing yourself on the following signs, you will see that it is not so kindly as you would like.
Sign №1. "I'm good if I have (family, male, female, a prestigious job, car, house, children, money, higher education and etc.)"
Sign №2. "I'm bad if I don't have (family, men, girls, work, cars, apartments, children, money, higher education and etc.)"
Sign №3. "I'm bad if (to communicate with the "wrong" people have the "wrong" religious, political, sexual orientation, saying what others hate, actively brag/PR himself)."
Sign №4. Bipolar thinking and the inability to see the tints and colours of the world, which is manifested in a rigid categorical Express positions and opinions
Sign №5. search for the guilty in their problems – declared guilty of circumstances, fate, "not the country, not the people", family, surrounding, etc.
Sign №6. Desire someone to prove something ("you're richer? But I'm smarter! You smarter? But conscience is cleaner! You have a clear conscience? But I can zatrollit that everyone will think that you are the most dishonest people on earth!" and so on and so forth)
Sign №7. "I'm good if you achieved something (a career, I defended a thesis, built a house, created and developed the business, got a million video views and etc.)"
Sign №8. "I like that, if I have a lot of money (or slightly more than the bulk of the others)."
Feature No. 9. "I like that, if I had more women than they have."
Sign No. 10. "I'm bad if others don't approve and don't accept me, my ideas, suggestions, actions and etc."
Sign No. 11. "I'm good, only if I can be useful, interesting, convenient another."
Sign No. 12. Constant comparing themselves (their life achievements and accomplishments) with other people
Sign No. 13. Deep and sincere contempt for the weak (mentally and physically) people, which is based on no less sincere, but carefully scored to the back of the unconscious fear of suddenly being the same, to show weakness.
Sign No. 14. Envy and criticism (often justified, but always petty) in relation to the successes and achievements of others (often they are suppressed, so break unconsciously into a bizarre and at times comical and silly forms)
Sign No. 15. the Need to tolerate situations that are not satisfied out of fear to offend someone, upset or upset
Symptom No. 16. Inflexibility as the inability to retreat and give up small to win big or avoid destructive or protracted conflicts
Sign No. 17. Aggression against others in the form of jokes, banter, jokes, your little jabs, irony, teasing.
the grounds of No. 18. Constant provocation of conflict, often out of the blue. Moreover, conflicts are created purely unconsciously, without rational consideration of the true objectives and interests
Symptom of No. 19. the Desire to raise its importance a hint or indication of involvement in some events, membership in organizations, familiarity with famous people ("Yes, I'm next to the Cord for 2 minutes was standing next to!")
a Sign of No. 20. the Quest to do everything yourself, inability or failure to delegate, take help someone else.
Sign No. 21. Desire to nitpick and irrelevant detail to expose an opponent, colleague, author, etc. not in the best light.
Sign No. 22. Failure to refuse (say "No"), ignoring their own interests, desires and needs in favor of collective interests or the interests of another person
Sign No. 23. Permanent change of spheres of activity and areas of professional development. The main reason is the inability to quickly get what you want (money, fame, influence, regalia, etc.) that would feel "good", "normal", "full".
Sign No. 24. a Desire to compete, but not for truth but for evidence of self-righteousness or intellectual coolness
Symptom No. 25. "I'm good, if others approve of and accept me and what I was doing to evaluate me well."
Sign No. 26. Painful reaction to their own failures and negative evaluation by others
Symptom No. 27. Failure to recognize (not only publicly, but even inside) the fallacy and inadequacy of his views or actions, "lamb" perseverance in defending his "innocence"
Symptom No. 28. Fear of failure (failure, failure and etc.), often repressed and therefore unconscious, but manifested both in the form of uncontrollable hysterical outbursts, and in the form of self-sabotage and justify their inaction to various reasons and circumstances
Symptom No. 29. Merciless to themselves, their feelings, their health, other people on the path to the goal
Sign No. 30. the Failure to demand his own, to provide the necessary pressure to advance or protect their own interests
Sign No. 31. the Erotic fantasies of their own "demand" – say, appear, Prince a big man, will see the beauty of my soul my unsung talents, and get married will take under his wing.
Feature No. 32. I Sincerely belief that "I have no problems, they only have the lazy, the weak and clumsy", and I hoo! The crown shines brighter than the sun
Sign No. 33. the Pursuit of trolling in the comments on the Internet and the statement of the case and without his "special" opinion, which is necessarily more "correct" than the author of the post, videos, articles
Sign No. 34. Dissatisfaction with the results achieved, the desire to get something more, however, it is unclear why this "more" is needed ("I don't want to be free Queen I want to be mistress of the sea")
Sign No. 35. Avoiding responsibility for the adoption of a serious life and business decisions and, as a consequence, the inability to implement their plans and the availability of a vast array of started, but not completed tasks, projects, goals
Sign No. 36. High inertia, an inability to go beyond the usual mental model and to consider the question from another point of view, the habit to rely on stereotypes and look for "solutions"
Sign No. 37. Feeling that life is interesting, not interested in anything as it is not clear what it's like, as there are no "parental rules" (i.e. those who better know what you "want")
Sign No. 38. Love to quick results and simple solutions, because the faster the result, the faster you can say "I'm good, because I have so-and-so"; at the same time in favor of a "quick result" is brought health, energy, relationships, reputation, dignity, etc.
Feature no. 39. Low ability to make independent decisions, waiting for "orders," or orders "from outside" (for example, by the hero of the commercial, TV series or vlogs) as motivation to action
Sign №40. Hard "psychological armor" that prevent the building open trusting relationships with others. The other person is unconsciously perceived as someone who can hurt you if it "put the soul"
Sign No. 41. Desire have to be at least something, even in the tiny area or region, but better than others ("but I'm the fastest solve crossword puzzles!")
Sign No. 42. Fear and inability to Express his true and sincere feelings (even if it is anger, anger, irritation, discontent, resentment and etc.)
Here it is necessary to understand the following important fact – all these signs of self-esteem depends SOLELY on external factors. In other words, a person believes that he's okay (and good against other "losers" or "the wrong people"), if he has something, something, achieved something, behaves in a certain way, corresponds to some criteria, images, models, doing what is necessary and is approved and etc.
the issue of changing self-assessment is not to "improve" "improve" or something to do with it, and in becoming independent from outside influences, to realize and accept who you really are. To make it more difficult the deeper one does not accept himself and clings to his illusory social mask. If you feel that unknown mechanisms in the unconscious make you behave as described in the indications and you want to gain power over them, to become inwardly free and whole person, we invite you to free consultation, where together we will analyze your situation and see what we can do to make you feel harmonious and self-sufficient person.