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let me Explain what I mean by the words "happy" and "successful".

Happy child is the child who has such qualities:

it interested him to live: to play, to explore, to learn new things, to experiment, to be creative.

— he freely expresses his feelings, thoughts, judgments, talking about their needs and asking for help;

— it implements its own abilities in some form of activity;

— he gets pleasure and satisfaction from what he does.

— he knows and feels loved, important, precious, and he loves and appreciates others.

Successful child, is a child who achieves goals in a particular activity.

the Success of each individual child is unique. For one success, is to win the competition on any subject, and for the other to finish a quarter without deuces.

the success of the child is associated with the abilities and talents of the child as the second, of course, facilitate the achievement of the first. But abilities are not a guarantee of success. Stories of successful people often acknowledge something else: to reach the goal one who is resistant to her moves.

the success of the child is bound with the desires and investment for parents. But only the desire, ambition and parental investment are not a guarantee of success of the child until their goals are not the same.

And then, to raise a happy and successful child, parents need to possess the following qualities:

1. To have an interest in life.You can save the natural interest of the child to life, if they're interesting. This involves constant development, passion for something outside of work or passion of the work itself.

This communication with your friends, with interesting people, workshops, courses, festivals, etc.

2. To develop your emotional intelligence.Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize their feelings and to identify them.

This skill is needed in order to teach the child to recognize their feelings and verbalize them, "I'm upset"" "I hurt", "angry", "happy".

Then from an early age you teach your child to Express their requests and desires with words.

In the case when the child fell and slightly hurt — not in a hurry to calm down and shift his attention. Let him show his emotions. This will help him learn communication. Because of this, children learn important value chain "I feel — I say it is safe".

Parents must teach the child how to broadcast my emotions. A large part of psychological problems that are manifested in adulthood — from the inability to explain what we feel and what you really want.

3. To show their love, attention, communication, play, collaborative activities.The modern world is arranged so that parents can spend with children as much time as I would like. This gives moms and dads feel guilty and they try to compensate for the lack of communication with expensive gifts such as smartphones, clothing and toys.

In cases when parents go to far with these gifts, the children become spoiled and capricious. The child is not to blame — in fact, it is only a cry for love, the need to obtain and Express. When parents substitute gifts the joy of communication, the child accepts the gifts as the only manifestation of love. And, getting a failure to satisfy another whim, the child interpreterpath it as "nobody loves me".

Everyone should know that he will hear and understand. Even in a large family every child needs to be at least an hour on personal communication with the mother.

Create a special tradition — a highlight in your schedule when the child can fully capture your attention. Keep this arrangement on a regular basis. So the child learns to plan life and difficult adolescence, this tradition will help you not to lose touch with it.

4. Similartony to develop a common approach to everything that is imposed on us, the parents, from the outside.

Razvivashki, clubs, groups, school preparation... Sometimes the schedule of a preschooler is not inferior to the busiest schedule of a successful businessman. But in fact, number of additional classes the child is directly proportional to the ambitions of their parents.

Give your child an organic live your childhood and find yourself. Be careful, pay attention to what he likes (not you).

Today, psycho-physiologists are sounding the alarm on the subject of boom "early development" of the child, when children are forced to read in 3-4 years, results in a incorrect way of reading, long and without understanding the text, and at school age these children have learning difficulties.

5. To keep child's personal rights, including the right to originate, what distinguishes happy from unhappy child? First fearlessly makes mistakes, seeking options and solutions, included in everything with enthusiasm and curiosity, without fear of being ridiculed or humiliated. Remember that without mistakes you cannot come to the correct decision. And when you scold a child for them, it simply ceases to understand the world around without fear and often withdraws into himself.

6. To be a mentor, not overwhelming, radicalement the ability to adhere to the balance between authoritarianism and permissiveness. This ability to retain its credibility and at the same time, a close, trusting relationship.

Is the ability to direct, and at the same time, to remain in the position of HUMILITY, that "I do not know how really".

This is the skill of the contract with the child. Is the ability to transfer to it responsibility for all areas of his life.

Friends, IT doesn'T COME JUST like that! We were not taught.

the Parents because of ignorance unknowingly make mistakes. Over many years of practice I have identified 5 major clusters of errors. Will tell in detail next time. You can also get a checklist top 5 mistakes parents

by subscribing to the newsletter group: the Child psychologist Yulia Danilova