And the result is that, for many years it seemed not clear for what reason, I have had a claim to the mother. Lived with irritation and a desire to contradict her on various issues.
At age 3 years manifested by negativism, stubbornness, depreciation, obstinacy, willfulness, protest, rebellion, despotism. I now realize that I hadn't worked, so I adult this was the mother to demonstrate. Although these symptoms were before. The negative that I have for many years held back, affected my mood and attitude in the first place with my mom and family. Fortunately, I became a psychologist, I deal with this issue, colleagues helped me in this. Now itself help to cope with others.
Today the topic of our conversation – the age crises. What is "crisis". Wikipedia is responsible - age crises [gr. krisis — decision, a turning point] — Sharp, drastic change in what Mr.
And so, there was a man, and his life begins with a crisis.
the first crisis is the crisis of the newborn.
we Lived lived in my mom's tummy, and then - just a comfortable environment to change to the new and what awaits us is still unknown.
Here is the crisis! Have to adapt to the new and unknown. Happiness, if the mother often takes the child to handle. And if not?!
I Propose the concept of "crisis" do not be afraid, because now know it's sudden, drastic change in anything. And so not necessarily a bad thing terrible, just harsh.
Here we grew up, stood on his feet, and a lot of know how, we know and we are waiting for the crisis of the first year.
it's Time to separate infancy from early childhood. The child is aware that he's a big, even begins to realize that he is a person and to recognize themselves in the mirror. Starting to be stubborn, overbearing, disobedience, to demand attention, want of independent action. Oversensitive to comments - in response, followed by resentment, discontent, aggression.
Contradictory behavior: the kid can ask for help and then abandon it. But the fact is that parents do not have time to regroup for the development of the child.
Adults try to prevent all sorts of ugly symptoms children. Suppressing their independence, parents do not allow them to develop.
This is the first stages of a growing baby. Let your child to explore the world and to show independence. The more his desire to touch everything and get it has a scientific basis: it appears, therefore, a child is not just fun, but builds on sensory-motor activity and search activity.
grown to crisis three years. Changes the personality of the child is such that with adults he communicates quite differently – he feels himself for adults. And how can we not feel – able to walk for a long time, is able to speak, he is eating, talking with friends. It's time to separate yourself from other people, as the child already understands that a lot, compares himself with other people and they committed to try again.
Dear parents, be careful – the children all repeat and now you have become a good example for them.
In this age, there are the following features: negativism, stubbornness, depreciation, obstinacy, willfulness, protest, rebellion, despotism. These characteristics are described by L. S. Vygotsky. He believed that the emergence of these reactions contributes to the emergence of needs for respect and recognition.
If you suddenly realize that the crisis 3 years, it's about you. I recommend a simple exercise, listen to yourself and your desires. Often ask: "What do I want?" and do it for yourself.
Imperceptibly, the children grew up, and again the crisis.
"Yeah, how many of them can be! From the crisis of three years had not yet departed, and here and crisis seven years !".
Here, all those all grown - up. In this age the person makes a transition to a new social situation and relationships are built in an entirely new way. The child needs to enter into a relationship with people, implementing new, mandatory, socially necessary and socially useful activities.
kindergarten behind, the child is committed to school, but not everyone is ready to learn.
Here we need perseverance and attention, discipline. The child doesn't even know how much of it just waiting. Well, if the house support him and all the family members are accustomed to read, to grow, and if not? Then the child may feel an outcast. After all, the house only he learns, and all other free time watching TV. Parents yell at him and demand homework require good grades. Here's the conflict, here's the crisis. Our challenge adults to support children during this period.
In this age there is the consciousness of the child, is personal development. This, oddly enough is the causes of the crisis of seven years.
Now people will have to survive at the moment of their desires, to think: "to Do or not, what consequences will this entail?"
In this age, there are secrets from adults. Remember how we used to hide bad behavior and evaluation from parents? And we considered ourselves adults and often clever. And yet, ashamed to show that you are hurt and that the kids are hiding. Difficult to communicate with adults and many children are closed and become unmanageable.
the Most difficult for parents to determine the necessary measure of independence for children during these age crises.
If adults will begin during this period, severely restrict the child's attempts to understand the world, to violate his personal boundaries, there is a danger that will grow indecisive, neinitsiativen and shy person, who will avoid responsibility for their actions. Children learn to speak, to communicate, to find a compromise. Now I see the pros and cons in the education of their children, and it helps me during the consultation the child-parent relationship.
it has grown to the most difficult in human life, although everyone else too.
Teens in crisis at the age of 12-14 years. In duration it more than all the other crisis periods. L. I. Bozovic believes that this is due to the more rapid pace of physical and mental development of adolescents, leading to the formation needs that cannot be met due to lack of social maturity of pupils. Erik Erikson, author of the ego-theory of personality, called the age of 12-18 years are most vulnerable to stressful situations and crisis conditions. Before boys and girls become the choice of profession, identify yourself in some social group. Due to the hormonal "swings" and other physiological changes in the body young people always feel emotions going wild when the mood changes a hundred times a day.
At this age, parents especially are beginning to control the children. Quarrels, conflicts arise more often. And this prevents the person to know themselves and their needs better. During these years, adolescents are increasingly thinking about the future, which is not clearly seen and in addition imposed by adults.
I remember myself in those years. My first education – train school. I decided to study there, as went to friends who did not know who they want to be. Mom suggested to go to College, but I wouldn't even consider, but would not agree with it. The same is not my crisis three years and "helped". But late in life turned so that I was working in education as a teacher.
In these years, children are acutely worried about their appearance, often compared myself with models on glossy magazines.
Dear parents, do you remember how we in this age in need of parenting support? But not all of us, unfortunately it was received. So let's give it to their children who need it. Let's not condemn them, demand that they become better. Let's hear what they want to tell us, or maybe they just want to be quiet. Help them through this difficult period. Accept their feelings, fears, worries, not demanding any answer to the questions: "What's wrong with you? Tell me. I see that you are not all right." Try to be with them, and if you want to hear, to protect them. You should build a relationship with the teenager based on trust, respect, friendship.
I Suggest you now understand some of the crises you personally have not lived, and what you can do to help their children. I would appreciate your comments and thoughts, we all understand it will be easier.
Share your opinions!
What do you think about this?
Want to learn how to manage your relationship on your own?