If you're in a relationship that is not happy with you and not making you happy, that don't work, don't try to quit using willpower. Get out of this unsatisfactory situation will help you activate your inner resource, the part of you that is strong and independent in you is your archetype.
they were All recorded with the permission of the client. Her name and details of her story, naturally changed.
Catherine, after ten years of marriage, still feels like a boxer in the ring. Despite the daily quarrels that occur because the partner is often away from home for a long time and for unknown reasons, it does not come with Boxing carpet. That her husband is cheating on her, know all her friends, but she's the last, despite attempts by her friends to inform her the truth, resist it, closes her eyes and is unwilling to see the obvious.
the more Catherine had reasonable suspicion, the more sophisticated her husband invents reasons of his absence, lying shamelessly and Catherine believes him. Despite his strange behavior and apparent infidelity, Catherine even better plays the role of "perfect wife", devoting all of myself and all my free time at home. As said Maodzedun: "the worse, the better". Catherine always tries to keep a "good face on a bad game" and in her eyes, despite the barely restrained tears, always a forced smile. She never gives out your status. That's just it has long been tormented by the constant redness of the eyes and conjunctivitis, which she can't do eye makeup. As if her subconscious resists to see what is really going on in her life, using eye disease.
Catherine was not always so. Before marriage she was working in the store and she liked it. Now his dedication to work, she explains that her husband works a lot and at home he needs rest and comfort. Even his adventures is his defense. Catherine says that every man can sometimes have "some fun", but it also returns to her home.
Her friends are all sorts of ways trying to help her. When her friends invite her to go with them to relax and have fun, she always finds excuses and is motivated by the fact that she has a lot of stuff at home. In fact, she stays at home to better control the "adventures" of her husband, from whom she has become dependent.
still, once, tired of the endless "exculpatory history" of her husband, Catherine accepts the offer of friends to go with them to the café and notices that she liked to spend time for easy conversation with friends, and even managed to escape from thinking about her husband's behavior. For the past two hours she's not thinking about his family situation.
more and more each time, Catherine begins to get involved in Hiking with her friends and starts to get more fun and less torturing her suspicions and thoughts about my husband's infidelity.
At one of these meetings Catherine learns that one of her friends opens a shop of biological products, and decides to help her get a job in this store.
Now she returns home late at night and lives a very different life. Working in the store helped her see another side of you. She saw herself strong and independent and realized that she was the same something, and that they put themselves in a position dependent on the husband. That anger, which is always visited her and she was afraid to Express, he breaks in one night and she turns into an angry tigress. At one point, unexpectedly for my husband, after another lie, she throws him a scandal, throwing all his stuff out the window, and to his great surprise, shooing him out! The next day, much to her surprise, her conjunctivitis was held. She freed herself from the cage in which she lived before, and now she is free.
What conclusions I made, as a psychologist, with the story of Catherine?
Our fears and unwillingness to see what is happening in reality may cost us years of life. In the case of Catherine, it is a denial of reality and the fact that her husband constantly cheats on her, cost her ten years of active and fulfilling life! Life that could be filled with other relationships and happy, healthy and versatile!
She herself was put in a cell depending on her husband. Freed Catherine support her healthy and free part of the personality. This part of personality is in each of us, but our upbringing, internalized stereotypes, social norms and beliefs, sometimes drive it and sometimes only with the help of the psychologist can release it on a surface and lean on it, that would fundamentally change his life.