Life by the hour


an Excerpt from my book, a child psychologist Natalia Belyaeva "Harmony in the family, or Parents about the children."


the World demands of us an immediate response, planning and preparedness always be alert. And so every day the average family is played out the following scenario: a kindergarten, kindergarten or school, exercise, then numerous homework assignments, language ones and so the whole week. In principle,
this can be OK if such a schedule and routine for everyone.
let me Emphasize: everyone. That means both parents and children.

But I often face the reverse side of such a regime. The parents say that at home the child became violent, aggressive, rude, or, conversely, apathetic and overly whiny. What happens to the child? Why do I get discomfort in the family?

short answer — often we are dealing with fatigue, and children's fatigue. Parents now have a lot of time and attention devoted to child development that they forget about the need to relax, play and socialize with other children. For example, in preschool the main type of
activities is a game. That is, for the harmonious development of the game should occupy a key place in the development of the child. She needed him, like flower — water. Primary school should be a time to rest. At the time when the child does what brings
a lot of joy. Because the school is not always everything goes well, there is not always interesting. And when in life there is a joy that brings a lot of strength and inspiration to cope with difficulties becomes easier. Classes are older, closer to adolescence, have to be
the time to communicate with their peers. At this stage of development, peers are an integral part of the development of the teenager.

On what grounds we understand that the child is overloaded nervous system? If the child's behavior has changed: the child became violent, aggressive, or whiny. The voltage can be expressed in the night
or diurnal enuresis, tics, power problems, difficulties in establishing new contacts.

note: does not it that your child leaves home at 7am and return closer to 7-8 PM?
Often faced with the excitement of parents about the fact that if a child does not will to do, then grow bum. I do not call to abandon clubs and educational classes. The ideal is to find a middle ground that will be suitable for a child,
there are conditions under which it will take into account individual and age-specific needs, and most importantly — the ability of the child. Should ask the child what he would like to do. And not to drive it at the least
the circle only because it is fashionable. Or because mom or dad wanted to dance or play hockey, and now the child walks "for parents".

If the child is driving in a variety of circles against their will, with time, he can form a unit — when we don't want to do, you need to endure. I'm not talking about the formation of volitional processes in children. In this situation, the child receives the message — you shall not covet, do not
feel their desires, give it up. The experience has a negative impact on the future behavior of the child.

much has been said and written about the uselessness of educational circles at a very young age. Often parents hear that a child develops in social circles. This is not so. At the age of 1.5–2 years child needs a mother. Mother, who play with him, talk, tell something new and very interesting. Mom, which will give a pleasant smile and
a warm hug. Near mother and child develops, and a child develops basic trust in the world. The child does not need mom-taxi driver, with which most of the time he spends in the car, following from kindergarten to the circle.

Not every adult can take this pace: work and exercise every day!

do Not be afraid that the child is lazy and does not want to go anywhere. This is a very common and erroneous belief among parents. From the nature of the child's inherent desire to learn new things, desire to grow and understand the world. In my opinion, the main task of parents — to create favorable conditions for the development of the child, trusting and warm relations in the family. A child with a healthy nervous system and a Mature mentality he will always be attracted to new and interesting.

Belyaeva Natalia
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