the World is filled with light for him who knows this, and there is darkness for the one who loses his way.
Milton Erickson once said phrase that has become legendary: the "some people die at twenty-five, only seventy of them are buried,".
the Phrase, on the one hand, ridiculous and even somewhat frightening, but this is just what you can see on the surface. Its meaning is very deep.
For some reason, the people refuse from the the search yourself, from growth and development, from achieving ambitious goals. In other words, give the steering wheel of your life to someone or something else. They refuse to attempt to change anything and just go with the flow. It is certainly not death in the physical plane, but something very similar in social and personal.
the Strange thing is that no one is born with such "skill" refusal of the development. All such "gifts" are acquired. At some point the person taking "the decision stop". It is often subsequently forgotten, and is taken for granted and natural. However, nothing natural about it, and there is, in principle, can not be.
of Course, such non-ecological decisions we make most often during the period when our personality the most vulnerable and unstable, that is, childhood. Sometimes it so happens that, over time, we are aware of their incorrectness and go back to the way I take the exit. It may be many years before we come to the understanding that actually we were right, and the reason "the spot" was just taken the wrong decision.
In the most undesirable case, there is something that he said Milton Erickson. People still to be trapped by limiting decisions. This is somewhat similar to an endless wandering in the labyrinth in the same direction, without trying in some way to change the route. We are taking what was done before. It is not surprising that we are again facing a stalemate.
How to get out of the maze of environmentally unfriendly decisions?
Suggests a simple option would be to adopt another, more positive. Oddly enough, but it is the only possible option.
We just think that we have all agreed that circumstances, education, important figures from the past forced us to become and be who we are. In fact, the decision to be adopted by ourselves. External factors only led us to this. We had no experience, no support, no proper understanding that we create our own destiny. At that moment we were just scared, confused kid who didn't know what to do and how to react. No wonder then that the child decided that he was not any such, wrong, not worthy of love and attention.
But it's just decision. It is like the arrow on the railroad, which, when translated incorrectly, can bring the entire composition into a ditch or drive into a dead end. Until we translate the arrow in the right direction, we will continue to move on a route called "without a relationship", "without love", "without self-esteem, no money, no peace" or "health". In this direction all this just yet, because it remained on the other side of the arrow.
now move the arrow in the right direction?
we Have no time machine to go back to that critical moment and warn myself of the impending tragedy. However, in this machine there is no need. Because this confused child, perevisy the arrow in the wrong direction, is still within us. He to this day feels helpless and expresses a look of horror and disappointment on her face.
We can bring back in memory the time when all was well, and the child has not lost the smile and confidence. Now we know what he himself is not enough to make the right decision. It may be confidence, calmness, love, care, support or other resources, the lack of which led to the adoption of wrong decisions. Now we are ready to him all this and to observe how the child now passes through those unpleasant events.
If the resources were enough, then we will feel a "switch" inside themselves. This is a special state to himself, to its true path. In fact it is switching your life-script. The direction in which we moved to this is a environmentally unfriendly script, the ending of which was supposed for us is bleak. Removing a limiting decision, we discover a new direction, a new way of life.
In conclusion I want to emphasize that the basis of any life scenario is a decision, which was adopted consciously or more often unconsciously. If you change this decision, to remove its effects, it will switch to the new script. There is no need in the time machine enough to ensure their younger I have all the right resources and information.
Finally, the parable about the choice of the path.
Met once again at the crossroads of two strangers. After the greetings they decided to have a little chat. br>
- Where are you going? – asked one of them.
- knows – to the left! – answered the other.
This answer surprised the first of the wanderer.
- why the left? After all, few roads, he said.
- Because I always go just to the left, - proudly answered the second.
- And the signs are you paying attention?
- Here's another! I know, I know.
But they show where the road goes.
- I know where it leads and without pointer, haughtily snapped the second.
Surprised the first stranger, but decided not to file the form.
- that, my friend, let me come with you, ' he said.
- of Course! I'm telling you – my way the best! agreed the second.
- Go on, I'll catch up with you, ' said the first, seeing that his companion has gone on the left road. br>
Then, filled from the stream flask, cut from the branches of a tree sturdy pole, and picked up a coil of thick rope that lay near the signpost of roads. After this, he overtook his companion, and together they walked along the road.
soon, However, they blocked the path of a viscous swamp. The second stranger had already reached him, but stopped him first. br>
- Wait! You need to find out where there is no marsh, he said, and the sixth began to check the path before stepping on it. br>
Thus, they successfully crossed the swamp.
Next, their route passed through the desert, palamou heat, but to overcome her, helped water that was in the jar first wanderer. For desert they blocked the path of a steep cliff, which managed to go down only because of the rope, picked up at the intersection. After that, the travelers entered the city, located in the valley.
- Frankly, I couldn't make the journey without you - honestly second.
- it's Not my merit, ' said the other, - the difficulties on this road was on the pointer that you want to read. I only fulfilled what was written there. With this you can cope. So I would know what awaits you on this road and decide whether it is worth to follow it.
Vostrukhov Dmitry Dmitrievich,
psychologist, NLPt-psychotherapist, consultant in the welfare
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