Each of us knows the situation when our mood starts to deteriorate, if something went wrong, something failed, broke or someone somewhere did not come, did not or did so that it would be better not done, someone didn't give way, "weighed" a stupid remark, when his opinion is not asked, etc., etc., and already the nerves to the limit, and the accumulated frustration and anger waiting for "the last drop", to fall uncontrolled avalanche, usually on the closest and defenseless man.
are There ways of managing your feelings to make own mood did not depend on circumstances or from another person, i.e., factors that cannot be controlled? Because this is important: the mood is ruined, plans are broke, but life goes on and you want "to do something and move on". Yes, there are ways to maintain your emotional balance, there are, and many of them are used for thousands of years.
In fact, forms of work on peace of mind so much that it is difficult to list them all even briefly describe in a short article. Conventionally all these areas, psychologists are divided into 3 major parts:
- body - oriented practices;
- the use of psychotechnologies.
the Division is very conditional, because it is impossible to draw a clear line between where one direction ends and another begins. But whichever way for self-improvement people choose, whatever is the support of a psychologist , which he used, he would change their usual pattern of response to the situation that has three components:
Surely you have noticed for oneself and for others, every time the same situation, you react the same way. Well, for example, have you agreed with your husband, that every day he will take out the garbage without reminders. All conditions agreed. But the garbage continues to be in the same bucket. In response to this stimulus is happening with your psyche in addition to will?
- there are feelings of anger, resentment, helplessness;
- thoughts: "here again", "how", "why, I thought we agreed", "what is he irresponsible," "well, is it so hard", "he doesn't care about me", "well, can you just...", "him nothing can be trusted", "most easier to do everything"...;
- the behavior: take out the garbage themselves, and when meeting him utter all that I think about it. The mood was gone and you and your husband. A few days later the situation repeats itself.
it All instantly flashes in your mind once you saw the trash. Your mind reacted in its customary way quite automatically.
This is just one example. In fact, all human behavior is 95% of the stereotypical actions of which he does not think. And most people stereotype is: any situation in humans first appear feelings, followed by immediate response through the behavior. Stage of thinking in this thread and either missed or the brain is activated only after emotions spilled out. It fits the expression: "Strong hindsight."
And work for the attainment of peace will focus on the formation of a new pattern of response that a healthy person looks like this: first, he perceives the situation, then it analyzes, including thinking, and only then makes a decision about what type of behavior in the circumstances will be for him the most acceptable. The situation analysis provides an understanding of what I can influence and what is not in my control, so a waste of energy to be wasted.
note that in the anonymous communities of mutual aid that once was popular in the West, and now receive recognition from us, the meeting starts with an ancient prayer: "God, grant me the mind and serenity to accept what I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to distinguish one from the other..."
together with Julia Vasyukova