the

Adult the woman, decisive in the present issues with expressing my feelings, asked me, indicating the dilemma:

- During a call I was faced with his very strong experience, but silent about it. And I don't know right or wrong I did? I'm learning to Express my feelings, I also so many years have made an effort to no one about my feelings not learned. In this situation, I kind of coped with his condition, but not said it out loud indicated.

Psychologists and psychotherapists in working with clients and patients quite a lot of attention paid to the expression of feelings and emotions. The apparent simplicity in fact it often happens that casts man into a stupor. To the question "how do you feel now?" the answer is "Nothing", and in the eyes at this time can stand the tears or fists to clench-unclench. So the process of discovering their feelings, their verbalization is very long, and I would say layered. Learning to recognize and name some feelings and emotions, then moving on to more subtle differentiation, setting up this process. And this is only the beginning of a new, important, very interesting, but difficult journey. His ability to bring in the space of relations with other people (a topic for another reflection and publication). Moreover, we have to build a new relation to himself, not only to the present, calling their feelings, but also to his past where these feelings were hiding and would come out. Where is the balance? What is right or wrong? Good or bad? Betray yourself again, ignoring?

In my opinion, the definitive recipe here. Not to accommodate human life and psyche in the category of "rightness-wrongness," "goodness-badness" and so on. It is always individual, unique story, similar only in large smears. Meeting a changing, the reactions of others to changes in behavior, communication, relationships give rise to new search and deepen self-awareness.

"am I Betraying myself again?", is my question that I sometimes asked, revealing himself in the old familiar pattern that I would like to change. Today I thought about a new wording - "I'm gentle to myself?" I'll try to live with it, try to "taste".

the Expression of feelings is not the exam where you may use only the "excellent", perfectionism is redundant. Their experiences will not cram in the rules, theories, norms. Probably, it is important to let them be, allow yourself the novelty, adjacent to habitual behavior, to be gentle(-s) with yourself and your feelings, to explore the space of your soul and relationship with undying interest, to be different (-ies).

In one article will not cover all the nuances of expressing my feelings, I'm still only charted territory, asked the guide. Every day brings material for reflection on this subject, from my own life, of individual and group work. And now I like to feel that my respect for yourself is to verbalise their experiences and to write a text.

Elena Bubnova