Why the outbreak of uncontrolled anger complaining, it would seem, at first glance, the most sane, calm on the outside, quiet people? If briefly - because they can not to feel, to suffer and not wanting. Because to be infinite is not feeling, accepting and understanding to the detriment of themselves - it is impossible.
To me in therapy often come with requests neudovletvorennosti, apathy, sadness of existence, weakness, non-achievement of goals, some obsessions. Everything seems good. But really - TERRIBLE.
after a few sessions it becomes clear that on the background of smooth sadness happen mood flash. Aggressive when I want another, just sweep, to break. And it is scary. Especially if that other is your child. If other is not very hard vnutrenniy the controller, then yourself.
Then there is the customer in samoopredelenie episodes and suicidal thoughts.
When the affect ends, the person reasonable understands that this violent anger, or rather fury, disproportionately, over the edge. And then sounds request "should be removed".
If it is de-energized the body to do something about the anger, will remain just a body - to put it simply, the "corpse".
Man can even say that meditating and achieved some progress, it helps him not to get so upset and gets away with it, without changing anything. I appreciate the meditation practice, but not in order to remove unnecessary emotions from your life, just repay them. Meditation is a good practice mindfulness, but not to detach itself from the body and the senses.
Emotions - an important adaptive mechanism that emerged during evolution. Their main function is to move us towards our needs. To energiaservice. And provide feedback - are we moving in the right direction - towards the satisfaction of needs, the following goals and values.
If we disable their own emotions, detach from them, try not to feel, not to notice, we do two disastrous things:
- Deprive ourselves of energy.
- Not meeting the needs and betray yourself.
And gradually life begins to fade, slow down, becomes viscous, gray and dull. And the person starts to become the same color. But all the same breakthroughs of vitality will occur in the form of outbursts of aggression or failures in anguish.
Anger is the voice needs. Our need cries. Not always, though, it is obvious that the need. We can take it out on children, but not be satisfied at work, in relationships, lack of self-realization, communication, etc., etc. Sometimes it's about fatigue, and about "not by Senka cap." Sometimes about what I want certainty. Sometimes about deafness to their own physiological needs. Sometimes about the old pain.
What anger is an important question about us - what we really want, what is missing?
Anger is a cry, a cry for help that is important to hear and understand ourselves.
Elena Dotsenko, Gestalt therapist
an appointment for consultation and treatment in vk - https://vk.com/lenado
