"Problematic", "difficult", "naughty" children as well as children "complexes", "downtrodden" or "unfortunate" — always the result of correctly established relations between parents and children in the family.
typically, parents raise their own children based not on knowledge of proper upbringing, and their experiences, which they received in their parent family.
Communion is as necessary to a child as food. A baby deprived of regular contact with for adults, poorly developed not only mentally, but also physically: he is not growing, losing weight, losing interest in life.
Improper contact "poisoning" the child's mind, endangers his psychological health, emotional well-being, and eventually his fate.
so, what is the basis of harmonious relations between parents and children?
First that unconditional acceptance of the child. It is to love it just as simply for what it is.
to Express their dissatisfaction with individual actions of a child but not the child in General. You can condemn the actions of the child, but not to devalue his feelings.
Second, to teach a child is necessary with special care. It is not necessary to notice every mistake of the child, it is better to do the analysis of the situation in that moment when the child is committed and after, and the comments always have to do on the background of General approval.
Third if your child is difficult, and it is ready to accept your help, help him. In this case take only what he cannot perform himself, leave the rest to him to do; the development of a child new activities gradually give them to him.
Fourth, allow your child to meet with the negative consequences of their actions (or their inaction). Only then it will grow up and become "conscious". After all, only "learn from mistakes". We have to have the courage to consciously give children to make mistakes, to learn to be independent.
Fifth, the child should be able to listen. The reasons for the difficulties often hidden in the sphere of his feelings and actions — to show, to teach, to guide — will not help him. If the child has an emotional problem, it is necessary to actively listen. Actively listen to the child — it means to "return" to him in conversation that he told you, while marking his sense.
Sixth if the child is causing you with his behavior negative experiences, tell him about it. When you talk about your feelings to the child, speak in the first person, about yourself, your experience, and not about him, not about his behaviour(using I, me, me).
Seventh, do not demand from the child impossible or difficult. To avoid unnecessary problems and conflicts, confront your own expectations with the capabilities of the child.
Eighth, family conflicts are inevitable even in the best relationships, and it is not to avoid them or try not to notice, but to correct them to resolve.
Ninth, rules, restrictions, requirements, prohibitions should be in everyone's life, but they should not be too much, and they should be flexible. Important: requirements should be agreed between the parents and should not be in clear contradiction with the most important needs of the child, and for this it is necessary to consider emotions, feelings, interests and needs of the child.
Tenth, to punish the child, depriving him of good than doing bad. In other words, it is better to punish cancelling "holiday".
Dear parents, the child is the man!
A person needs: to be loved, understood, recognized, respected. He was needed by someone close and that he was a success — in business, school, and later in the work.
So he could realize themselves, to develop their skills, improve themselves, to respect themselves.
And the basis of all lay you, Dear parents!