A letter to myself 18 year old (as the assignment of a personal experience of life relations)

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hi. You're 18! I'll tell you what will become of you in 10, 20 and 30 years! Want? I guess Yes. You do all will be well... but there will be nuances... in 20 years you will marry for love. Yes. Yes. You were so excited?! And graduate Institute. And at 21 you have a son. When you're 25 years will die, your beloved grandfather. He has 91год. This is the man who always supports you. And it will not. You do not immediately understand that with the departure of this immense support, will begin to reevaluate everything in my life. It was like a fairy tale and pink glasses... and then disappear leaving the rose-colored glasses. And you realize that this is only 49 years. The revaluation will be dramatic. Simply head to foot😊 will capture the spirit... But you will follow the action on the basis of his new vision of life. You'll change most of your relationships with others. 90% of them will fall to relations of courtesy. And it was a relationship of kinship and friendship. There will be opportunities for new relationships, you carefully will choose. Relationship with new relatives and friends will bring you fun. During this time, you'll find your happiness, learn to enjoy without rose-colored glasses and will be able to support your loved ones as you supported grandpa! And the question arises? And whether others such support, the disappearance of which we need to change 90% of their relationship? And you're going to solve it ...solve! Will do! And that's not all, to be continued... Love you, you're awesome!

And now I want to reflect on the support, the disappearance of which we need to change 90% of their relationship. I believe such support can only give very strong relatives (parents), upper middle income and high social status. On the one hand, support is a necessary condition for the survival and development of the child. On the other hand, a child growing up used to obtain high-level support and considers it a natural way of life. What to do? To refuse to support? To refuse, but not immediately? Not immediately, but when? Never to refuse?.. Care strongly supportive adult in the life of removes these issues because it is a priority responsibility of an adult and strong (child is not aware of the level of support). And then, as happens, someone intuitively cope with the situation. Takes responsibility, and alters relationships. But it is not that at all.

What to do who are aware of their strong support for an adult? Who is not aware of, the question of "what to do?" arises. On the emotional level is strong adult is angry and swears, if the child does not meet his expectations. And continues to support. And someone understands that support is strong. To reduce it initially make sense, probably not, because if I'm going to show his power to the child, the child will be able to copy this "winning" behavior. The choice is not simple. Next, the parent determines at what point to leave the baby alone and cease to support it, at first partially. This strong parent needs its own power! It is impossible to give as support. To support inside need to withstand and accept your child without a part of his power. The child will employ its resources, which are different from resources and the election of a strong adult. And to make it much more complicated than "to Supplement the child until retirement".

Everyone chooses himself, no one can solve it except yourself.

All the best.

Elena chekhonina
2018-11-02
Статья выложена в ознакомительных целях. Все права на текст принадлежат ресурсу и/или автору (B17 B17)

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