Speaking about the "Rescuer" wants to lead the line by Stephen Karpman from the book "a Life free from the games": "the Man who plays the role of a Rescuer intervenes in the Affairs of other people to offer their help. In this case, he doesn't know how to help, or doing it when its about no one asks."
In everyday life, "Rescuer" to know is not difficult, and certainly everyone in a circle of friends there are "volunteers". Such people are always trying to help, to advise, to make a "substantial" comment, or argument, to put your shoulder to cry or to shoulder the "burden of responsibility" of another upon himself. And no matter who is this "other" - friend, relative, lover or conditionally familiar. They have, as if there is a panic button that lights up at every opportunity to show off a "helping hand".
But is it necessary? And what benefit Lifeguard gets that from?
In fact, blindly "saving" others, such a person does not see how ignoring your own needs. A lot of time, energy, emotions and soul is spent on efforts to improve the quality of life of another, not his.
the Squad genuinely believes that does it for the good and ignores the fact that his self-esteem and a sense of "usefulness" depends on the other.
"I am OK, only when to help and delight others."
the Sad fact is that not all "rescues" are ready and willing to reciprocate. And here is the interesting point: the rescuer wants to be valuable and necessary, having allegedly "free" services and expects that it will appreciate. And when this does not happen – reiterates its conviction. And.... "Breaking bad" for the new needy.
Without a doubt, to help others is good and noble. But it must be understood that such assistance must be reasonable. Shouldn't be in the position to "catch up and help" is not helping and imposing. It is important to remember that each person chooses the path to go. And able to cope with life on their own. Not to do for others what they can solve themselves. To give support, to sympathize, to help realize your choice is OK, but not be involved in the annoying role of "volunteer".
to help, when asking when this assistance is sincere (no expectations of getting something in return) and forces – it will be much nicer for both parties. In short – go from the role of Rescuer to the role of Caring. And take care first and foremost about their well-being and emotional state.