still, I'll try to describe – what is a psychological group, what happens there and how it can help in our lives. Get ready, this description will be long! As you know, the most difficult instruction is the instruction for tying shnurkov

so...

You came to such a group together – a few total strangers and one or two leading the group. In this situation, how to talk about yourself? What these people can do for you? They're certainly not less of a problem than you!

The communication group different from a "regular", "household"? I can honestly say that the answer to these questions is incredibly difficult... But I will try to write about it, and you to read. Okay?:)

Introduction. first you can get. Will you tell me a little about yourself, other people about myself. Leading a group can use a variety of exercises-tasks for participants. For example, to answer certain questions, tell about themselves, but on some given topic. And this topic can be quite unusual, such that in the lives we touch rarely (for example, to tell the story of his name, who and why called you so, how do you feel about him, etc.) would also take place in unusual or (and) the game form, allowing participants to emerge with some sort of hand that we in everyday social life rarely shown or not shown at all. All this is done to ensure that the process of rapprochement with other people happened consciously, that the group could pay attention to how they learn, what if this every happens, what feelings and experiences that arise. Of course, everyone in this moment, observing himself.

Actually, much of what happens in the group is like life, but what in life we do not pay attention, is in the group subject to scrutiny, research and developments. The main attention is directed to awareness – awareness of their feelings, desires.

For effective group work the participants (at the initial stage - with the help of leading) develop and make group rules, which allow the group to be a special space to study and gain new experience, unlike any other "get-togethers". By the way, about safety. Under security, in this case, refers to the ability of the group to be themselves, to open up, to talk about important and intimate, or Vice versa, to be silent, to cry, do not fear that you will condemn, assess, interrupt at the right moment or do not understand. If the group created a secure environment, the communication ceases to be social, and becomes a Trustee. The group gradually created a very special unique atmosphere of trust, respect and understanding, this is the value of such events. Regular communication is based on the laws of politeness. For example, I'm not interested in what man says, but I suffer with a smile on her face, more reminiscent of oscal

the group has the opportunity to Express not only what is accepted in society, but what is not accepted: that you are angry at someone, you are disgusted, disappointed you, etc. Security is the ability in each moment to be who you are, this is an opportunity to be sincere and honest. Safety in the group occurs gradually. the Creation of such a space is a joint effort of all the members of the group and leading, it is not always easy, and in the process encounter difficulties, misunderstandings, unpleasant emotions and experiences.

To any security, the group has moderators and rules. Rules include both technical issues, for example, turning off cell phones and generally "not be late" and govern the ways of communication in the group. Some of the most common rules of communication is the activity rule, the rule "stop" and the rule "I-statements."

Rule activity involves the active participation in the group, in other words, an important activity of the participants in the discussion of various topics, participation in group discussions and exercises, so that the group can begin to understand more about themselves and their complexity, and to experiment in new ways. In addition, the internal activity of the parties are constantly in the process of awareness yourself, what happens to them inside.

Rule "stop" suggests that any participant can stop what is happening in the group, if, for some reason, he becomes intolerable. the rule of "I-statements" assumes that every participant is expressing something, talking about himself in the first person.

Important! If "technical" rules to perform more or less easy (we all know how to disable a cell or calculate the time to get somewhere on time), the rules of "communication", which are set in the group at the beginning of the strange and perhaps incomprehensible. Because in everyday life, we are no one teaches it.

the Rule "activity": We do not always behave in a life of actively, frequently adrift, out all the failures in insurmountable circumstances, and sometimes we are too educated to actively Express their dissatisfaction or protest. Or conversely, someone characterized by excessive activity, then the activity is understood as constant acts. In the group in focus is the inner world of man, what is going on inside, feelings and experiences.

"stopp" Rule also causes difficulties for implementation. All my life, since childhood, we were taught – be polite, be patient, do not interrupt seniors, to answer questions, not paying attention to what you're uncomfortable, you're tired, angry and so Many of us can not even understand at what point everything was still fine, interesting and curious, and suddenly found out that I was scared, angry or offended by what is happening? Requires the skill of careful observation of oneself, to trace the line beyond which begins the patience and heroic efforts. This skill can be learned.

And, of course, not just to fulfill the rule of "I-statements": in everyday life we do not say it.

the Role of the leading group, actively support the events, support research itself, the participants, their activity, compliance with the rules of the group. If necessary, facilitators can stop what is happening in the group to pay attention to what happens to them, what they are doing. Presenters offer participants to be aware of their feelings and actions. group members enjoy their usual ways of communicating, it often is done automatically, "the habit", regardless of how these methods produce the desired result. Presenters offer participants notice what they are doing. And propose to change the usual way. Is called frustration habitual ways of behavior. And what does it do? And it is necessary in order to start working on yourself to pay attention to your feelings and emotions and start changing yourself.

Quite often, participants would have the misunderstanding, protest, irritation: "Why am I interrupted? And that the leading bother with questions about the desires and feelings? Why propose to do differently?" It is a natural process, which is called resistance.

Leading encourages participants to Express their feelings, self-awareness, exploration of self. This is your inside job – during the party's mind, but occasionally out loud to answer the following questions: what is happening to me? How I feel right now? What I want now?

And a few words about the dangers of tips. Why in groups it is better not to give advice? Giving advice to people, perhaps even unconsciously, to become "expert" and You are really an EXPERT in the life of another person?

the Council is a "finished product", which someone already created. It is similar to the finished dress – first of all, does not fit all, especially those who have "non-standard" figure, but the psyche of each of us is unique! Therefore, each Council must "take in", "expand" or "fit" for themselves. Second, the giving and implementation of the councils does not require your domestic work. the group also supported the development of the capacity for creative adaptation, that is, to elaborate their own "recipes" to suit your unique situation and your unique personality.

Yeah, it's not easy and it is work, sometimes difficult and risky because: "and suddenly will not work?", "what am I?", "but since no one (in my family) never did." Yes, terrible, responsible, anxious... But it will make your life different, perhaps exactly like you want! It makes sense to try, believe me...J

Your Maria Umnova