A little bit about yourself from others.


a Little about yourself from others.

What I know about myself? There is some set of facts that I used to think something describing myself. Where did these facts I can not say for sure, as is true if they are, I just use their default. And in that moment when I was asked to look at himself, in spite of the Other, I suddenly realize that I don't know myself without the Other. Who am I by itself? If I had known. I only know who I am in relation to the Other, this comparative benchmark of my inner world, or rather, to my illusion existence of my personal inner world that I only see in Other presentations. 
I used to think that if around me all is well, and I mean good, I used to build a view of your inner world based on the opinions of others, who does not stint on ‘the truth” about me. And all of this amuses me, this game is funny pictures keeps afloat my self-esteem, with no real awareness of the fact itself. And it turns out, all I'm doing is just defending itself from the truth about myself and Others, I gladly help.
There is an interesting fact that mothers believe themselves good when raising children, children grow up and say that mum bad, then, these same children have their children and consider themselves to be perfect mothers. You know what I mean? To the fact that being on both sides of the conflict, the person takes the side of the conflict, not a real need for understanding what actually happens there. No feelings and therefore no understanding, but there is a pattern of behavior and are confident that this template will pull me to the right place and make me what I am “want” to be. But where did this “want” and what it really contains, and nobody knows about it. And it's not the depth of psychoanalysis and not the metaphysics of existence, this seemingly simple and mundane things. It would seem. 
What I see in myself when I immersed in my personal space like that? What's so frightening I'm trying to escape from this through the creation of such powerful and real such a protective Person, which for me are the epitome of my unknown to me “want”. I don't know that there is such think that besides Me, there is nothing else but it is just as I, because it is enormous, frightening, frankly its natural form, I see that himself such as I am true, and it is absolutely not the way dictated to me by my Persona “want”. And this fact I … sad, to mad just splitting the world into pieces, scattering in the nuclear whirlwind of destruction. What could be worse than to know yourself. 
Say, there is a condition peculiar only to our true self, for example, depression and sadness. It's not just them, even love and joy, but about it another time. For me, here again there is a place of interest, because I'm afraid to be depressed and run from her in joy and manic employment, than of course stress component of psychotic depression. So, if depression is my true path to the true self, and I'm really scared of this painful road, and if the Person at this point, distracting me from myself “life”, then why am I neither here nor there? 
Where I then do is I?
I see you looked at yourself in the mirror?
Why am I afraid to talk to him about yourself?

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