read the project "the Gazebo: book link" the book brené brown, "All because of me (but it isn't)" dedicated to the study of shame, got to the place where the author connects shame with gender issues and says that society makes women a lot of requirements: what should be our body, weight, clothes, behavior, what should be the relationships, sex, what you need to be a mother, and so on, and the like, and much more. Non-compliance is a shame.
"a Real man should" - Oh yeah, that too, of course. But there is another important point that distinguishes "women's shame" from "male" to quote
"When we feel shame and fear, the desire to blame is always present somewhere. Sometimes we turn the weapon inward, sometimes outward and blame themselves or others. Blaming ourselves, we begin to walk in a circle of shame and self-loathing. We would like to collapse inward. If we are trying to get rid of painful shame and fear, blaming others, the explosion occurs outside. We jumped on the child, subordinate, husband or even staff who accidentally caught his arm . In both cases, we usually do not understand what we are doing and why. We blame in order to cope with feelings of powerlessness.
Power is a difficult topic for women. Most of my interviewees did not like the idea of "strong women". Many of them once said that "strong woman" is an unloved woman or whore. On the other hand, all women recognized that to feel powerless is scary to despair. This duality is a serious threat to our ability to manifest the best traits of his nature. Our doubts in the understanding of the power feeds and the fact that there are at least two kinds of forces, I call them "on-the-violence" and "real power". Unfortunately, hearing the word "force" many of us automatically mean, "on violence" – the ability to control people and to use them to put pressure on them."
brené brown. "All because of me (but it isn't)"
it Turns out: accuse, attack, used violence to cope with impotence. And enable the real power does not work - on gender is not necessary :) the real strength remains vacant and undeveloped.
I would like to work with you to look for the answer - and what is our real power? Strong woman - who is she to you?
