Used by dependent people system of rational explanations and projections
gives the casual observer the impression that addicts always lie. But it's not. In fact, their psychic regulation violated. This violation is called a system of illusions.
the System of illusions include:
- Blackout. Intoxicated people may develop violent activity and look controlling their behavior. Therefore, it is difficult to imagine that he may not remember all or part of what was happening in the moments of intoxication. The blackout can last minutes, hours or even days. Due to the lack of memories and emotional reactions of others seem addicted people excessive, they sincerely believe that close to exaggerate and dramatize. Dependent people adapt to hide such episodes.
- Suppress unpleasant memories. Unpleasant memories associated with use are excluded from memory. Become more bizarre than the actions of man, the more memories of them are displaced. In contrast to darken the creation caused by biological factors, suppression of memories is a psychological process.
- Euphoric memories. Using alcohol or drugs, the addict is not adequately assess their condition. He had no doubt in his brilliant wit, opportunities to negotiate, to take children out of the garden, to sit behind the wheel of the car. Stories of family about his real behavior he perceives as another nitpicking. This is due to the fact that he remembers their good feelings, forgetting about the behavior. Hence the euphoric memories.
How close are involved in the generation of illusions
Being the target of projections, accusations and rational explanation for the people close to the addict lost their self-esteem plummets. And then they start to perform one or more of the following roles:
- Defender. Loved ones begin to apologize to other people for the behavior of an addict to justify it to the superiors and to support its rational explanation in front of other people. To preserve self-esteem in this difficult situation the relatives themselves begin to invent rational explanations.
Though the charges of a dependent person in your beloved is just a reflection of his hatred for yourself, loved ones, without knowing it, you begin to blame yourself for what happens to him. To restore the dignity they strive for perfection. They think that if they will be perfect spouses or parents, alcoholism or drug use will cease.
- Controller. Family members may feel responsible for the behavior of the dependent person. They try to control the use of a variety of ways. But with increased control, increased consumption, and consequently decreases the self esteem of loved ones, because they consider themselves responsible for the actions of an addict.
- Prosecutor. Dependent relatives blame all their troubles and misfortunes, ultimatums, arrange scandals. Mood swings become uncontrollable.
- Loner. Due to problems with self-esteem dependent relatives are increasingly taking up a defensive position in relations with other people. So they alienate friends and family, being alone.
Shifting on more and more responsibility for the behavior of his dependent relatives, performing the role of protector, enforcer, Prosecutor, turn into a sufferer. The addict is not confronted with the consequences of their behavior. Thus, despite a strong desire to stop the use of close support it.
So there is codependency. Close unwittingly be also divorced from reality, and dependent person.
But the family has the opportunity to help the dependent person, taking part in the conviction, which will allow the dependent to break through the wall of denial. To the conviction is successful, it is necessary to understand the nature of chemical dependency and codependency. Loved ones need to understand that addiction is not their fault, and their self-esteem may not be associated with the disease.