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Systemic family therapy based on systems theory, originally developed in biology and Cybernetics (V. Vernadsky, K. Lorenz, N. Wiener, etc.). In psychology system theory was reflected, in particular, in T. Leary, G. Bateson, A. Korobkova, K. Whitaker, A. Varga, and today is becoming increasingly popular.

a Systematic approach to work allows the therapist to view the family not as the sum of its individual members, but as a living organism, which play an important role not only individual components of this organism, but the interaction of these components in all its manifestations.

most Often, the family appealed for help to a therapist in those cases when they are ill or poorly behaved children. And the request of the family voiced specifically: "help your child to recover or correct his behavior." In such cases, psychotherapeut faced with challenges as a family "giving" their child to work, she tries to shy away from this work.Often, this desire to withdraw is due to the fact that the symptom of the disease or "bad" behavior in the family performs an important role, often providing the ability to save the family in its present form. Family like gets stuck in its development, can not move to the next stage of their life cycle or are not able to resolve the accumulated problems in the relationship and then the child begins to "save" the family, fulfilling a subconscious or conscious desire of one or more adults. The symptoms starting to bother parents, the parents are United in the desire to help the child, and here – the goal is achieved – the family becomes a solid body. But the means of achieving that purpose often have to pay too expensive: health or criminal behavior of children.

Surprisingly, even when parents see the depravity of such funds, they rarely desire to work on themselves, change their behavior, their own relationships so that existing problems in the family do not affect health or behavior of children. This is due to the reluctance changes of the self with various psychological problems of individual family members, with problems of their progenitors. In the book "From shadow to light" the author gives a table showing the quantity structure of the ancestors of any living man. The table shows seemingly an incredible number of ancestors, and accordingly the genetic codes embedded in each of people.

Try to count them, your ancestors, and at some point you stop, amazed by their endless variety. But we see only a small edge of the top of this huge iceberg, floating in the depths of centuries.

Take period of fifteen hundred years. Suppose that in 100 years, 4 generations, if each generation is born once in twenty-five years, and each of them, of course, have two parents. The calculation is very simple, each number is multiplied by 2.

Who and what were our ancestors? If they were able to love and forgive or hate and cursed the oppressors and abusers? Who was jealous, who was angry? Who betrayed or saved from persecution? Three or four generations, perhaps we will be able to make genogram on Bowen. What was there? What secrets are hidden in our cosmogramma that encoded in the genes? But this genetic memory lives in us and manifests itself in specific meetings and events.

Sometimes events are repeated in different generations in the same years. In the family of K. the client's husband, who was 28 years (she at this point was pregnant with their first child), there was another woman. During the consultation it became clear that her mother also at the age of 28 was like a family drama, and my grandmother's clients in 28 years, also left her husband. Fatal women of this kind.

Another example. Family N. consists of daughter and mother. The mother divorced with the father of her daughter. History of family alcoholism and unmotivated aggression in men, kind and strong women rescuing men and each other in difficult situations. The daughter meets a young man, occasionally consume alcohol and aggressive towards her. The mother "rescues" his daughter from "bad" men and feels important and needed daughter. Daughter is repeating the life script of the mother, showing her his love and acceptance.

Such a repetition or patterns there are in each family. The events of the past is mythologised and passed on from generation to generation as the banner until then, until you are a brave man, ready to release his family from such inheritance.

If you gather a group of people, you can spend the balance on the Hellinger and restore the flow of love in the family. And wonder at times, working with the problems is kind of like thin feel "the Deputy of the ancestors" that took place 50 or 100 years ago. If you want, you can "talk" with them "asking" them, and even to help them to forgive each other! In my practice, the author had to face the need for "forgiveness of the ancestors. The results were amazing. Suddenly there were distant relatives, was restored relations between the branches of a sort. Changing life from someone who wanted to change her, change yourself. The children have recovered or started to behave positively.

But, to get the effect of the disappearance of a symptom, you should realize that "Disease" is inherent in the whole family, all its members, and to heal, to resolve symptoms fully possible only by working with the whole family, without exception.

Bobrow Galina Kirillovna

2013-02-26
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