"From me some trouble, I'm the most worthless person" is such a depressing belief of self-abasement common among very successful people. From the side, no one can tell... This person is obsessed with benefit, striving to be somebody, to be needed and important. Sometimes we meet such a person already in despair. And the emotional background of fatigue and irritation. "A worthless man" never ceases to compare himself with others, wondering their importance and greatness.

So alive tired and cranky, useless and unnecessary ONE. But it thinking is filled with paradoxes, which he is unable to see. In cognitive psychotherapy, the first question we ask such a person – always the same: "What does it mean for you?". It turns out that worthlessness often paradoxically linked with the accusations against others that they are "instrumental" use of such a person. It is obvious that these other "get"! They prevent to become someone, to achieve something, to BE REALLY USEFUL! Yes, a "deep failure". He brings "real benefits" even to those who need. Only disappointment. Without it "they will be better." But it continues to be used with great hunting. Continue in the same contradictory spirit.

Apparently, this man wanted so badly and tried to be "useful", which exhausted their strength, and emaciated and became weak and unsuccessful. And the reality is it scans wrong: they have taught yourself in any interaction, see "usage", and all to notice superiority. Like an animal that is afraid of being hit, sees in every strong enemy. Strong such a person is difficult to call. But innocence is his strong point. Self-deprecation borders with stringent requirements for others. "I am weak and defenseless. You have to help me! Otherwise, you confirm that you are using me, but actually you don't need me!".

Such queries are frequent among young mothers in crisis and thirty years. The problem has its antecedents in childhood and family relationships in the nature of career development. But where the problem originated – it can be solved here and now. "Worthless, useless and used", by contrast, prefer to escape into the past or future. In the past it is easy to find fault, and in the future – impossible dreams. Such beliefs are dangerous to the development of depressive or anxious symptoms, loss of social contacts, disruption of family relations.

What to do in this case? Simple behavioural experiments allow the person to understand whether he who uses it or not (colleagues, partner, children). Analysis of automatic thoughts and underlying beliefs of an individual allows to identify the non-adaptive cognitive styles (constantly occurring errors in the assessment of objective reality). At this stage the person begins to return to the here and now of daily life, ceases to strive for "utility". But this is not enough. You must learn to think differently, to develop adaptive beliefs that will allow you to regain strength and stop going back and forth between futility and utility. In each case, they will have their own.

Maxim A.
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