Today my client raised an interesting topic, which was the idea of this article. With his permission (of course, without names, passwords and appearances) and share their thoughts. Here comes to me adequate, self-confident man who has everything in life turned out-managed. Comes with the theme happy-unhappy love. Why the happy-unhappy? Yes, because he's got that right. Midway does not happen. Love, to live without her, can't, can't breathe, at work to concentrate is impossible, a few trades a week broke. He lives in two States. It is near - endless euphoria, the release of dopamine through the roof, the world is bright colors. It distanciruemsa, pulling away, offended - and all the world is gone, can't live, can't breathe. Here lived a man in such emotional swings for a couple of months (his therapist, me, has returned, now all is well, all cured))))) And he was the last two months is insanely bad, good, painful, unbearable and all sorts of different. It was not boring for sure. Who among us has not experienced a similar feeling? I think experienced almost everything. I am a rational man, I like to take things apart (even such a great feeling like heavenly love), and then collect and see what happens. See. If we catch ourselves on the fact that without the presence of a person near our world is losing paint is the first bad bell. Because HEALTHY love does not happen. I can be without you are sad, bored, you would have been better, but overall, not bad. All this, as the favorite teenagers the Twilight Saga "never let me go, you're my own personal brand of heroin, I can't live without you" - it's all so crazy and exciting, romantic and inspiring, but...., everything is clear, can't even comment. The second signal - we idealize the person. How much would a girlfriend, friends, parents, colleagues said - "what are You doing, can't you see?.....", we, as the song sung, say, "You're not, you're not". That is, you do not understand, do not see and do not know his beautiful soul like I do. The bell is very disturbing and that will not end well, because we all remember the rose-colored glasses I glasses inside. And if you cease to be in this emotional mess of serotonin-oxytocin-dopamine and turn your head (or even better, go to therapy) - you will see that your partner only uses your childhood traumas. My client was the mother, who then rejected it, persuaded to contact if he, like a good boy, finally deserved it. That is, see. Us in childhood rigidly frostreaver one of the parents, we did not cope with it and chase their unfinished Gestalt, playwas in relationships with people who behave exactly like the parent we were frostreaver. That's why there's nothing we can do inside of us traumatized child, who desperately seeks contact and cannot get it. And if suddenly (about a miracle), we find what he was looking for, love is healthy and mutual, is not satisfying. Because you have to work with the symptom and the cause. With mom, dad, childhood trauma. And then it becomes easier. And we have to live and breathe. So, my dear, if you caught yourself on that all that I described - run from the man in horror. Or, if it is absolutely impossible to escape, get your required emotion (still it's a great jolt for the body), and then in therapy. If you are already in such relationships, welcome to my advice, and even better, the group for codependency, which I will lead as soon as the panel will have.. Well.... be aware of. Complete. Breathe)))

Abdulov Inna
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