Fire in the blood
most people in the honeymoon phase are absorbed by a new man; the fact of its existence – the cause of the dizzy feelings and fantasies.
State of love and euphoria from it is a natural psychological glue that accelerate the attachment. People who have a healthy relationship model, understand it well. They understand that this condition is temporary, it lasts long, deeper intimacy and a relaxed partnership.
Like a drug
the Man inclined to the dependent relations, is committed to serving hormones of pleasure again and again. Love without fever his life seems bland and grey – as well as the alcoholic without vodka or a junkie without heroin.
the Dependency relations can be described in terms of dependence on chemical substances:
- an irresistible craving for object of love, “breaking” without it; the need to control his every move; its own uncontrolled behavior; the need to increase the intensity of the experience – you want to increase the “dose”; loss of interest in previous activities and Hobbies; spending too much time on object of passion; the continuation of the relationship with the understanding of their destructiveness; social exclusion – damage to work or study.
the Word object in the previous paragraph, especially the bold – man, there are dependent relationships, it is the object of passion, not the subject.
Dependent relationships are not built with a real, live person, by the way. This image is usually first idealized, then demonized, then Vice versa – the emotional swings you can swing for a long time. Bugs our consciousness helpful necessary draw the picture.
This is reminiscent of a journey through an unfamiliar city with made-up or outdated. Some buildings and streets are the same – it is an occasion to convince myself that the card is working, all is well. A lot of inconsistencies, most often in the form of concrete fences or creepy industrial zones. To face them hurt and scared, but a chemical cocktail of happy hormones drowns out the signals of danger.
Then this is what happens. Man does not ask the question “how not to bump into fences and not to go into the industrial zone? maybe the reality is different than my idea of it?”. Instead, he is struggling with negative feelings or disregards them; he is looking for asks: how can we continue to fight about the fence, but not feel pain? Such a request often come to the psychologist. Very well, if in this state, a person got to a professional.
the Psychologist must carefully show that the map does not match the location and needs to learn to check in with reality. The professionalism of the psychologist is the ability of his client to ' work around concrete fences, and it's better to walk on a clean sidewalk.