ABOUT ASSIGNMENT AND REJECTION
There is this illusion that to receive love you have to be something special. Well, to have beautiful eyes or legs, have special achievements or money. As if this "features" will depend on the amount of love that you will get. But if this special is not present, and there would be no love.
the Man who lives with such perceptions, often afraid to show weakness or parties which it considers unsightly (and not the fact that they are such in the eyes of others). In his life life a lot of anxiety and a lot of stress. He fears that the dissatisfaction he will lose the attention of important people or even their love. Hence the belief that if somehow to adjust to the expectations of the partner, then the love will come regularly.
Moreover, it often happens that people understand - this idea does not correspond to reality. However, when it is in a situation of conflict, he prefers to take the side of the partner and thus "step on the throat of" his true desires. Sometimes people do not even realize.
What happens such that adult a person suddenly loses the ability to think clearly?
the Trouble is that the fear feels as though it tightens in childhood, when there is something like that.
for Example, a mother might say to him: "don't eat the soup - it will give you the do'er." Funny from the point of view of the adult a threat to the baby is associated with great fear of losing mother. If such threats were many, and if they are still supported a boycott for disobedience, the child, which only collects information about the outside world, to understand a simple rule - if you don't meet the conditions of important people, it threatens to breakup. And if you do, then you will love. This mom was not able to show the child that you love him just for what he is. Not for what he is doing and what it wants. br>
to maintain a meaningful relationship, a man who grew from that baby, to give our best. And be ready to abandon yourself, if only to preserve the priceless "we".
Children's fear will suck, and the kids can't handle these strong feelings alone. People may describe their condition as intolerable. Once my mother was unable to be on hand to help deal with the feelings. So they seem overwhelming, exciting entirely.
But the good news is in therapy, these feelings, you can live and get support. In this case, the therapist some time to perform the role of a supportive parent figure. It will help to sustain and will learn to constructively Express their feelings. And help others to experience love for no reason - just because this person here is so unique there is in the world.
Once you discover that you can be yourself in any situation that there is a big difference between sacrifice and compromise, that there's a line where the impossible assignment because they speak to the inner self. We all experience anxiety at the thought that your loved one can leave us. The only question is, are we able to sustain and what do we do to cope with it. br>
(C) Natalia Safonova