There is an opinion that when someone hurts - we should complain , but not angry. And even turn hurt into love
of Course, there are times when we are placed unreasonable expectations on other people and then they do with it. But now I'm not about that but rather about the violation of borders or the fulfillment of the undertaken obligations.
And I believe that if the other person allows himself devalues phrases or teaches, or in some other way violates my boundaries - I have every right to be angry , anger or even rage depending on the extent of damage.
This is a healthy reaction - a manifestation of such feelings and corresponding actions ( within the law, of course 😀)
In our society so developed instilling toxic shame that often even your parents can not always protect from the teacher, who threatens a policeman or woman on a baby site, if she called him greedy.
There is a simple word STOP and I encourage them to use and invest in him all the feelings that arise in the abuser. It is the right of every person.
And in confirmation of his thoughts here is a quote from the book by Carroll E. Izard "Psychology of emotions"
"Anger mobilizes energy necessary for self-protection, gives the individual a sense of strength and courage. Confidence and the sense of power encourages the individual to assert their rights, that is to protect yourself as a person. Thus, the emotion of anger plays an important function in modern life. In addition, a moderate , controlled anger can be used for therapeutic purposes to control the fear."
the same author describes the reasons of anger:
- Restriction of freedom - studies have shown that the restriction of the freedom of hands 4-month-old infants causes a reaction of anger.
-obstacles in achieving the goal.
But very often I come to clients with such requests - about lack of energy about the inability to act , about dependence on the opinions of others.
work with the release of blocked feelings, including anger is very important and I will gladly help to implement it