These intrinsic values of the person are formed on the basis of its experience, of digested experience. When I talk about "nastasescu" values, I mean not screwed from the outside of the submission that was invested in the head of the childhood of various social institutions. It's not about "doing something bad/wrong/ugly" and so on, which shtykovaya child since childhood, not even explaining why a particular action to make right or wrong. br>
No. Real human values are formed in the result of the test of reality: here is something to try - not much, something did not work, and so on. And for good, so all you need to survive one or more failures in life, with a vengeance to plunge into some shit to figure out how to deal NOT worth it. Stay on their experience of certain failures will inevitably lead to the understanding of how the person is BAD and what is GOOD. This is because it is the lived human experience and he gained a real knowledge in the interaction. He didn't read it in a book, not blindly adopted from his parents - he survived and this experience has become a part of his world. br>
I myself in my still short life managed to pretty much screw it up and end up in unpleasant situations that tore me up inside that I was ashamed, where I was unpleasant or bad. I'm pretty much obsessed with these heavy feelings, somewhere, stepping on a rake again and again until the rake has not filled me with a bruise on his forehead, just because I didn't understand the first time, and from the second, and so on. And because I'm one of those people who don't check - do not believe honest people. And then, I was experiencing heavy feelings of guilt, shame, envy, and so the list goes on, literally killed inside due to the fact that I can't be forgiven ever.)
Only after a while I realized that all, absolutely all the situations that happened to me, served me to experience and create MY personal values how to do is, and how not, what can hurt and what not and so on. And so in all people. br>
responses can be a million - someone runs from the incident, someone devalues, somebody suppresses somebody agressiruet someone complains, and so on. However, it does not resolve the situation: for example, from this relationship with significant others or not be better. br>
When a person sits on the seat, afraid to experiment with life, to try something, to live, he formed the same values or are playing already invested. When a person interacts with reality and solve any daily tasks, he formed the new knowledge. A new experience. br>
I am a supporter of experimentation and now I do not regret that, as I thought, incredibly really killing, because the only way I would understand what they understood, would be the person you are at this point in my life and development. Someone needs to dunk harder, as they say.)
In another way. Not following their ideas and those that are imposed from outside, people will feel at ease. It will be uncomfortable, it will look unnatural. Following their inner guidance, a person goes his own way, his way, and feels generally well, because it's his values, his feelings, his thoughts, which lead him down this path of the experiment.
Values are not good or bad. There are those that are really woven into us in harmony, and there are those that cause dissonance. Those that cause discomfort are the subject of that changed. They can be changed only if people begin to take action for the correction of his own views that they are prevented to communicate and interact with others, to live in harmony with themselves and others and so on. This is one side. br>
the Second side is that the experience of negative experience one way or another leads to the formation of ethical values, based on personal experiences the feeling and motivation to change the situation. br>
the second One does not contradict, but rather complements. We created a society in which we live, the people that raise us and that affect us. But we can not just implement inherent in us programs, and change them to learn new skills, to develop, to train your perception and expand their vision. br>
And yet, we can't cry about what happened unpleasant situations and not "rush into a spiritual quest" :) about the past or their difficult feelings, and can make the fuel for their development. Because only by overcoming the trials, the development occurs. From standstill it will happen that someone will do for us, invest in us, development will not occur, due to the fact that we almusallam the situation, but nothing changes - the development will not occur.