I was driving home and on the way, I don't know why I wanted to write an article about love. Most likely romantic music led me to these thoughts. And here I am considering a future article, looking forward to warm tea, blanket, laptop on my lap, and a warm dog lying at his feet. Outside the window is howling wind, coupled with the cold is not very pleasant phenomenon. Behind tube, another 2-3 minutes, and I'm home. Parked in the yard and suddenly before my eyes the picture is clear: the keys lying on the shelves of the hallway. In the hope that the hand still automatically put them in the bag, I search through it all. Empty. Her husband arrives at best three hours. To go to work with the given tube of 1.5 hours. Stand at the entrance or to sit in the car with the stove I'm not smiling. I go to the nearest Mall. Instead of a soft home sofa hard couch, instead of the current blanket past the crowd, and only tea is present here in larger assortment than at home.
it would Seem that my article needs to change direction and develop the theme of expectation and disappointment, but I will remain in the outline of the love theme. While I was thinking what to write about, create a connection, me and the future articles. The situation with the keys expanded topic for me. How often, fantasizing about the relationship, or believing that they all the usual and familiar, we can appear before the closed door to the inner world of the person we love. And the surprise of this fact, contradictory expectations can cause disappointment, resentment. I even cried when she realized that the house I the next three hours will not happen. But at the same time, my house is still here, as not disappears relationship with a loved one in an argument.
I want to distinguish between two concepts of love, which in my opinion are actively used in everyday life. Connected to each other and thus having different differences relate to love as a feeling,, complicated feelings, which in hodgepodge may be present tenderness, pleasure, delight, excitement, anticipation, awe, admiration; and love status, or even status in relations, love, affection.
When people say that all children love their parents, have in mind the affection. Affection, and quality, forms, the child adult. Responding to the needs of the child with greater or lesser involvement, observing, or ignoring them. The quality of the attachment is the quality of contact between parent and child. Since the existence of "their" adult child directly related to survival, love-affection generates a sense of security and reduces the degree of vital horror. And just because it has higher priority over the love-feeling.
love is a feeling only comes after the crisis 3 years, in which there is a private Ya. I am convinced that the ability to love is not given to people as a given. It must be intraeconomic from the outside: if in a child's life there is a lot of love as feelings about him, and his ability to feel love is formed.
so, back to affection. Attachment is a kind of base for love-feelings. And other senses is also unfolding in the context of a relationship. If you use to illustrate the quality of attachment of the real threads that bind people together, in the case of secure attachment is a ball, which is unwound to the desired length, when people are not together, but once they begin again to approach, then the thread is wound back, the thread tension is always palpable, but not chilling. There are other types of attachment, when the thread just breaks at a certain distance, or the opposite, like a rubber band, pulls back, and to have the distance in such a relationship is impossible.
this is an imaginary thread influence the feelings in these relationships emerging. Love as a feeling, for example, strengthens the attachment. And the disgust, hatred, contempt will erode affection. And then the thread must be very strong to persist even under the influence of strong destructive feelings.
Love is affection plus love-feeling is created not only overall satisfaction, but a feeling of happiness, fullness and depth of life. Being pleasant, each in itself, and without being bound, they create dissatisfaction and the eternal search for that wholeness.
P. S. the Pleasure of going to the Mall I was all the same, deciding to take the chance had a Cup of delicious coffee. Back in a good mood, having fun outside the house. Previously, I tend to lament about the inaccessibility to the point of rage, and faithfully wait for, and then break for all "the fault in closed doors." And now brought delicious donuts come filled with pleasure and willingness to share your good mood. And the value of the house while it was for me seen, attachment was strengthened.