We often look at manipulation on the part of those subjected to (the victim? object?). the ‘how to manipulate Me, what do I do” But let's try to look at the situation through the eyes of the one who manipulates. Maybe someone it will help to recognize the manipulator in themselves and to think about changing its strategy.
Not all manipulators are doing it consciously! Although of course there are. Someone take seriously the endless recommendations «how to get a man to buy you a fur coat” or “how to breed a girl for sex”. But leave it on their conscience and we turn our attention to not aware of manipulators.
Unawareness of manipulation doesn't make it non-manipulation! This is again a little with the victim. You can often hear: “Well, he's not aware of, so not specifically, then not guilty”. Let's get away from this false path! And try to reduce the amount of unconscious behavior and take more responsibility for what we do.
For me, the main sign of manipulation is that the person is not asking about something directly, and forcing the other to fulfill his desire some roundabout way. Trying to get, provoke.
the realities of the situation.
it is Possible that a person is really no other way to get what you want. For example, the wife of the husband-tyrant who does not listen to her wishes and needs. Or a child growing up in a family with strict upbringing. when there is a lack of love when I do not hear, do not take into account and do not want to meet my needs, to say or ask directly becomes impossible. It remains only to manipulate!
Otherwise not able, so learned.
This item is strongly linked with the previous one. Perhaps human life was the period, except when the manipulation to succeed was impossible. And this way of interacting with the world is fixed. Another option: the child grew up in a family where manipulation was the only way of communication. One can only hope that in life there will be other situations that will show him the possibility of direct communication.
Ask about something directly, to speak about their feelings can be terrifying. Suddenly I am denied? Suddenly turn me down? Inside each malicious manipulator sits a little frightened child. Terrified so much that he was afraid even to ask.
Ashamed to ask.
In our society a widespread installation that is to ask – that's bad/a shame/selfishness. In some minds it sits firmly catastrophically. But this does not mean that the person wants nothing for himself. Wants! Really wants to, but can't ask. It remains only to manipulate. (Instead of say that you missed me and want to talk to, blame the ones that left alone and forgotten. But the weakness is not shown!)