Overcoming codependency is the most urgent practical problem of our time. Codependent is often the only person who understands the seriousness of the addiction of a loved one and the only person who can really affect a dependent.

But the problem is that to get rid of codependency often in practice more difficult than to help the dependent.

the complexity of the problem is that codependency figuratively is a thick rope, which binds the person to dependent. This "rope" trying to break immediately. It's complicated. This rope consists of many strands and success in the liberation from codependency is possible in a consistent "cut" of these threads one after another.

In this article I will tell about one of such threads and how to cut it.

the consultation close people say that their husband, son, daughter very capable, talented , almost geniuses and they just want to get rid of alcohol or drug use as here, they show themselves.

Indeed, if people refuse drugs or alcohol and did not have time to destroy mental and physical health, as a rule, in their life, positive changes. But, faith codependent that they are close - able and talented prevents them to break free from codependency and really help the dependent.

Why? Fear to act effectively and decisively. The fear of losing such a talent, if you put the question – or quit or bye? This is what forms the binding!

How do the roots grow?

we All have a part of their personality can be called creative. People who use drugs and alcohol, intuitively seeking a way out its own dependencies and trying to make it showing your creative part. The trouble is that existing active substance does not allow them to really show it.

But the attempts of manifestation see close and attached to this – see what he's capable of, talented! Ah, if I quit drinking, what a success it would be!

You know, I can not wait until not overcome his codependency and dependent – relationship.

a recent example. At the reception, a woman whose husband drinks and uses drugs. Then in the family there is a serious process, wife agressiruet about each binge and use of drugs, the husband humiliated, lost from home, has.

-You know what I have talent writing poetry.

how old is your husband?

-33.

-Who's reading what he published?

' no, not that he never shows his poetry. Even shows me rarely.

-Lermontov at the age of 26 died.

What to do?

Not to admit the manifestations of codependent, not attached to it. Speak to him only that we are all capable and talented, and including it. But in order to achieve success through the manifestation of their abilities and talents first you need to get rid of their addiction.

Sometimes this is not enough. Codependent then you need to get rid of your fear to lose, to lose a talented person. For this it is best to go to a therapist, who without pharmacology allows you to work out and eliminate the roots of this fear.

good luck!