welcome to All and want today I will mention one of my favorite topics — Personal boundaries. Is not one part. Generally this article I wrote about 2 years ago for another resource, but now processed and leave her here. A lot of information, so I'm going to write parts of your knowledge, thoughts and experience on this topic.

And so, if the person is not aware that he has boundaries, he doesn't know what they have with the other. On the borders historically speaking not accepted. Because if there are boundaries, then the merger can not be organized accordingly it is not convenient to many. By the principle of assimilation, many of them survived long hard years, and often family-run, this mechanism continues to work from generation to generation.

Let's start with what I mean by boundaries is a trait that separates man from other people around him (the interaction of environment and organism). If very to simplify, the border defines where I am, and where not-Me, where my, Where someone else's. Where are my feelings and mine.

❇fun and challenging Personal boundaries are:

✨physical: personal territory, time, mental property (name ideas), loved ones (if someone from your relatives is called by a harsh word, for example), personal belongings (read your phone, is not given on time duty); ✨psychological: your desires, needs, dreams-imagination-thought, emotions, feelings, experiences, values, attitude/reaction to that either.

to Feel the border can be quite difficult, because it is invisible and is determined by the human senses. And often it is difficult to define their borders, because usually this does not say, do not teach in the family is not discussed. If the sensitivity is weak, the psychological boundaries are violated, and therefore the voltage increase, but then deflexa-reset voltage ("tears/scandal/hysteria/ I'm leaving") and surrounding in confusion, not understanding what had happened. Because the person sitting next to you probably doesn't know that crossed the line, and if you are told about it, I will be very surprised then a violent reaction. A strong reaction occurs when the voltage is increased and then can't hold back. That is, we are the guards of their borders. So, do not think that the "infringer" will know and stop make race on your borders. As each of us is unique and has their life experience and education, another person may such actions do not cause thoughts, that he behaves like something is not right towards you.

have app, it is Important to recognize and allow yourself feelings such as irritation, dissatisfaction, anger, anger. This is the Triger that your boundaries violated. Boundaries flexible, because it is building a relationship between you and the other person, and only you can decide what you are ready in a relationship and what not.

❇this is Important to note:

✨boundaries are all different, no one should be like you and Vice versa;

✨people understand suffering from what their boundaries are with certain people, but completely ignore the fact that you are getting in this relationship. If you notice not only the shortcomings in the relationship, but the pros, it can support you in times of crisis. Border with different people can be different including depending on the current situation. The most important thing is to be able to see "bust" and to be able to say about it.

✨healthy psychological boundaries — flexibility, not a concrete wall. They are dynamic and are determined by: who am I in this moment? What do I feel? What I think? What do I want?

❇ app To start to start their borders to install:

✨ I-message. Say (I) that you feel you need as you need/can. For example, "you hurt me", and "I ranus/anxious/scared when you do....", "I'm worried/ lost when you're lost, please, write if delayed". If you say from yourself, you can hear if the other person is perceived as an attack. The response will be aggression and protection. ✨To understand your boundaries, think about and write a list of what you like and what not. For example: I do not fit, when you are late and do not warn more than 30 minutes when I read my email constantly withhold wages, when you borrow money and not give it to him when mother in law comes into the room without knocking, etc.

More articles in my Instagram natalis_gorelova_psychology and on the website www.ngorelova.ru

If you want to now learn to feel and do with their borders, I'm happy to see you for a consultation!

have a Great day and evening!