Dual relationship in my life, I give myself often. And every time my life in response suggested I think about it is to endure and experience what these relations are manifested. I even feel partially versed in it:)
And as a teacher and as a supervisor I occasionally faced with the fact that therapists do not see anything difficult in that, in a double relationship to enter: to treat those who are taught; to take therapy related customer relationships, assuming that the processes have no effect on each other.
Recently I watched the situation from his friend. The situation is complicated, involving three different relations: organizational, professional and personal. And here we are talking about it, discussing different solutions and after about an hour I begin to understand that none of the proposed options does not suit her. At the same me each of them seems quite reasonable and possible. Even after some time I realize that I am equally "suitable" (to resolve her situation!) each of the options. And it's not because I don't care. I just view the situation from different angles, stand on one position, then another, and from each position I see some sensible decision. But it – is not satisfied. And after some time, having experienced some irritation (it does not suit her anything!) I suddenly, through this irritation remembered that recently was exactly in its place.
I was in a similar triple context, and I similarly was not satisfied with any decision. And I was angry at people who quite a calm reasoned, suggested, even supported. But it was – NOT!!!
First I want to say, as is customary: thank you, dear MRSD that are suffering, show and give all this to understand.
And then clearly realize: no one but you will not be able at this point to choose the right position. Because you agreed in these contexts to build relationships and what you are. Others – no. Their position is understandable, their feelings are clear. And you're floundering, helpless, and survive the chaos within.
what happens, in General a simple thing. Humanly you want to do what you can't do as a professional and what is absolutely not logical/not beneficial/not reasonable from an administrative point of view. Maybe is like that joke: "From "fast", "cheap" and "quality" you can only choose any two parameter, three-in-one does not happen." But it may be that you can't sacrifice the interests of any of its sides. And then we have to find a common denominator.
I Guess the more contexts intersect, the higher we must rise ABOVE the situation, what would the denominator.
But to climb SO high above the situation, you have to dive deep inside yourself. And emerge out with all these contradictions, collected within themselves.
And then you can choose the one inner side, and (I sincerely hope this opportunity!) - find the assemblage point from which you can operate, combine all their positions. All my sadatoshi, helplessness, anger, sadness, disappointment; the professionalism and Outlook on life; interests and expectations. And while all are important, not dig out and you won't – the solution inside will not be. Will have to sacrifice something.
In my situation it took time to protest and outrage to take in the first place, his solitude in this situation, and then just let her go "adrift" because to find a common denominator this time I failed... Two of the three contexts "affected" in varying degrees. I'm glad my situation wasn't included therapeutic context.
of Course, the idea of being involved in intricate relationships, feeds the idea of omnipotence. Combining the contexts, we get a lot of power. We often think that we can handle, we do not see much risks. Or not planning to dive deep. But you have to be ready that if you get to the point where the contexts (two connected clients, or your two contexts in relation to one client) are in conflict, you will not be able to be not affected. And well, if all the participants are ready to dive deeper. And if not? Then all the experiences you get as a experience that have to live and digest inside.