About the breakup. Is it possible to avoid the end of the relationship?


Any, even the most perfect relationships end. Good or bad, depends on what Luggage you remain after. Best case scenario would be gratitude, fullness and a bit of sadness. In any other case – the pain, the hurt, the frustration and traumatic experience. All these feelings are difficult to experience.

Even the most wonderful relationship will end anyway. Of course, you can (and should) be attentive to yourself, your feelings, to learn to see and hear the Other, to be sensitive to the borders, etc. It will be beautiful, filled with life. But then one of you will die and the other will still be left with pain. That is why the ideal variant sounds like "they lived happily and died in one day." br>
Coming into our life, Another changes her and us. Once you do, you will never be the same. And he is also. To enter into a relationship means to bond, to feel part of Another, to adjust for it a part of myself, to give part of yourself to Another, just changing him and his world.
the more changes have occurred during the relationship, the more given, the more invested, the more terrible to think about the end.
Relationship is always about the value of the Other. No matter how developed your life, to lose or to let go of what is endowed with special meaning – always sad. br>
way to AVOID the end of the RELATIONSHIP a LOT.
for Example, you can ESCAPE FIRST. In psychology this is called "rapid rejection". It is based on the idea: "I won't survive if you leave me, so I leave myself."
Another option is NEVER to MEET, to experience intimacy, not let anyone in his life. No relationship – no problem. But there are other problems. br>
SEPARATION AND ending a RELATIONSHIP IS TWO DIFFERENT processes. To believe that relationships end in physical separation of the partners very misleading. Sometimes relationships no longer exist, and people continue to live together. And sometimes the official point set many years ago, but emotionally people and remain a couple – jealous, resentful and mad at each other even with their individual families.

Easier to finish when the exchange was equal, and each was left whole. Those who had invested their all, the separation will cause extreme pain. The loss is so great that comparable to the end of the world. It is, therefore, strong dependent pairs. Investing the whole of yourself, changing yourself beyond recognition, just to stay in the relationship, the person, in the end, disappears into shadow, dull the next owner. "I don't know what I want. I have no life, their desires, I feel nothing. I live only for him. I'm willing to do anything not to lose him." the
It the end of a relationship. Even if technically the pair continues to live together, there's nothing in between. Just because there is no longer any "in-between". There is only one absorbed the other. To be in that position painful. To break off relations is not possible. br>
One day a Man came to the sea. He was fascinated by its depth and abundance, and decided to stay together. He built a house on the coast. The sea is so loved man that refused to storms and other bad weather, gave the most delicious fish, and to top it off gave Man all his treasures. People spend hours collecting beached pearl, amber and the remnants of the ancient treasures. But this sea was not enough, so it decided that no drop of water will not be more given to another, and blocked all possibilities for its release. And not to leave the coast, and inadvertently flood the house of a Man, forbade the rivers to fill itself. After some time at sea there was Tina, and the fish have almost disappeared. But the water was very warm and on the banks grew reeds. Everything seemed to be fine. Only here people often become broody for a long time and did not appear on the shore, going inland. The sea continued to blossom and grow. A few months later, People loaded their belongings on a cart and left, throwing a farewell glance, full of sadness and disappointment.

- Why are you leaving me? We did so much together. I did so much for you. I do all myself to you dedicated. I refused to communicate with her friends from dance classes, from your business. I was waiting for you from work. I don't spend on themselves time and money, if only you were happy.
- I never asked for it...

Bitter this the end? Sick relationship died. This experience is not forgotten. It is often traumatic. But if the lesson learned, wounds healed, and the ability to hear yourself will stay with you forever. Now there is a time and place to return yourself, learn again to hear the voice of their desires, to restore the boundaries and the internal support and updated to enter into other relationships. br>
However, any relationship sooner or later. Everything has a limit. Well, if their life be long, interesting, pleasing and healthy. br>
PS for Approximately 90% of the stories which come to me is about relationships. With children, parents, friends, co-workers, opposite sex, with yourself... People are all woven from the relationship. It is impossible to be human and never to be in this process. It is impossible to be a psychologist and write about the relationship. It's also impossible in the 21st century to tell them about something new. You can only learn. To start from scratch.
of course, I would like to write a text that would become a discovery for everyone reading it. So after three or four short paragraphs people knew and how to build relationships without the trouble and went to live happily ever after. But I can't. Each story of each of my client, I listen carefully and ask a lot of questions. Even 12 years and thousands of stories later, I'm surprised, puzzled and continue to have interest in this topic. And you?

©Natalia Emshanova

Emshanova Natalia
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