About the fear of death (part 1).


whatever the query is not client for a consultation and then terapiju, always behind his request is the fear of death. Even if people did not feel, do not realize, or say "I'm not afraid of death." Fear of death is the most obvious, a clear problem of existential conflict. This contradiction between the confidence in the inevitability of death and the desire to continue to be this tension between the awareness of the inevitability of death and desire for eternal life. No one will escape death and that's the awful truth, we're gone forever, and the world will remain, and will continue to live. And we are deathly afraid.

the Fear of death determines human behavior. And with childhood, the child develops defense mechanisms against the inevitability of this fear. Therefore, the fear of death are rarely seen in pure form. Produced such protection as rationalization, sublimation, transfer that allow you to deny death and this is often taught adults.

"Your grandmother is not dead, she is now in heaven, she is watching you and guarding" - or so say the children meet the real death. "We do not die, and go to the other body"-another answer mom's question of the child what happens to us when we die. "I will never die" - confidently said to me 5 year old child when I read the tale in which a dying fawn.

All struggle with the fear of death. Many people use the ways of adaptation, denying the death – belief in his own power, suppression, acceptance of religion, which "neutralizes" the death. The denial of death takes away a person's considerable energy. And then the person ceases to receive satisfaction from their own lives. The more fear, the less joy.

"I'm doing well in life, husband, children, great job,- says the client, but I feel bad! And it's getting worse and worse. I can't tell it to anyone, no one will understand, and nothing to talk about, because superficially all is well! But something is going wrong. I want to shrink, close off, hide, run away and not to see and not to hear. And at the same time I'm scared to do it. What's wrong with me?"

This is a clear symptom of the crisis and the fear of death. As you already know in an existential crisis heaviest fears of loneliness and death. The loss of self, fear of cessation of existence, the fear of "nothing". "It's attacking us from all sides," wrote Rollo may.

the task of the psychologist "nothing" translate to "something". To transform this fear. To find an antidote, to create rituals (rituals helped our ancestors, and our unconscious trust them), to seek allies against fear.

the Fear of death often camouflaged other, less terrible fears. For example, to break away from mother, to live with her, or to maintain a close relationship, but as time goes on and this interferes with socialization, study, family or relationship in an already established family.

Many psychological techniques aimed at reducing this fear.

I used for example this exercise:

represented in the form (method symboldrama) that you died and your funeral, imagine the people who came to say good-bye how they look, how they look at you, you can see them, and they don't know how they behave, what they say? What do you feel about this? What thoughts do you have when you see how they behave these people? Who are you excited to see and who is not?


the Continuation depends on the customer's request, as well as the age, sex and qualifications to this exercise, that is, trust to his psychologist.

you Can finish this. Most importantly, ask the customer after this exercise:

That it was pleasant, unpleasant, and that surprised me.

the Answers will often surprise you and the client.

will be no fear of death, and the question "What am I doing in my life?"

This is the main issue of the crisis, and the answer is to move to a new stage of development and life.

Rodina Galina
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