With some clients I feel the subject of the situation room or an empty space. When I speak to my clients, and my words fell on deaf ears, I think it is very important not to let them, erase me this way. I believe that becoming an accomplice with the client in this situation is unfair, and try to find a way to mark its presence, to attract customer's attention to what was happening was grounded in the reality of the therapeutic relationship, and not just in the contents of the unconscious client.
Man, 37 years old, tells about the problems in my marriage, with my questions and remarks are ignored. Another client, 39 years old, complains that it does not accept people who do not notice my comments and ignoring my questions. Client 42 years of experience in “me” analysis of its relations with others without noticing me. Since I keep the focus on the interactions that happen in the room, and not switch to marriage problems, not taking a client to other people over time, clients become capable of more and more complete to talk about themselves. But some time I still remain a piece of furniture. Customers are distantsirovaniya, no matter they are silent or say. This care I feel as a defense, and when that didn't cause me doubt I'm describing to clients how they will be debarred from contact.
I stop customers, if, during his monologue, they ignore me and ask the question about what, in their opinion, only what happened between us. At first, most often the client answer, I don't know. However, I keep asking this question, much as you need. Sometimes clients answer that had not even heard my words. Sometimes they say that they are not interested in what I comment on; gradually, however, they still awakens interest to my words.
In some of these situations, I get a certain model of interaction with customers: when they say, not paying attention to me, I loudly banging on the table, saying: “there's two of Us”. At first, these moments are annoying customers, but then, often, take the form of playful confrontation, which is evaluated by the customers positively. Over time to protect customers not giving them the opportunity to enter into a real relationship is weakened, which gives the opportunity to really understand what is going on with them and what can happen if we manage to eliminate a protection that has long ceased to protect.
