Adultery from the point of view of the theory of the theory of object relations



Terekhov Natalia



Saint-Petersburg E-mail: [email protected]

annotation. The article presents a perspective on adultery, both on the acting out of a split object out and finding the object of projection. Also marked with the symbolic meaning of sexual relations.

Key words: paranoid-schizoid position, depressive position, sexuality, cleavage.

Before talking about violations of marital relations, it is necessary to outline the role and value of sexuality. From the point of view of the representatives of the British school of object relations and their followers, sexuality restores the connection between the physical and the symbolic levels of satisfaction, reviving childhood conflicts that occurred in the early period, allowing from time to time to the direct satisfaction [4]. The interaction on the physical level allows you to combine not only the object-worlds of two people, but also to create the connection between body and psyche, each of them. This bridge gives you the opportunity to work out old issues of interaction with the primary (maternal) object, which is most clearly manifested in the sexual life of the subject. Thus, the sex could symbolize in the most General approach the following aspects:

1. Sex symbolizes the struggle for the preservation of the memories of the giver, a loving parent, for the retention of his image within ourselves, for the opportunity to care for him/her to be taken care of.

2. At the same time it symbolizes the overcoming of the image of the rejecting parent – a parent who is not taking care. Sex includes the ability to tolerate and forgive even this denying the figure, because it suggests a possible convergence.

3. Finally, the key point is to try to combine these two pieces, allowing you to gain a holistic sense of love from the other in response to self love – in the context of overcoming

coldness (p. 2) and the constantly present threat of destruction that can occur when consuming symbiosis (p. 1).

it is Easy to see that the last paragraph talks about the possibility of retention of the subject for the depressive position, since sexual relations can survive the ambivalence in the relationship with the object. It is also possible to conclude that sexual disorders can talk about outside of mental reality, the problems of communication with the internal object. Accordingly, these aspects of object relations, should manifest themselves in the case of extramarital sexual relations, and also talking about the failure of integration in the earlier phases of development.

Before the issue of infidelity, you need to say, making possible the creation of the marriage Union. The key is the assumption that any interaction between entities is based on the mechanism of normal projective identification. With this point of view can be found in the work of W. Bion and D. in the works of Steiner [3].

Normal projective identification involves the interaction of two entities in the framework of their expectations and does not lead to the impoverishment of the self. W. Bion speaks of this process as the process of containerbase [1]. To create a Union of two entities, it is necessary to projective identification wore complementary nature. For example, a woman wishing to project any character trait, will look for a partner who is ready to adopt this line and to behave in accordance with her partner, in turn, will attribute to the woman the complementary role that relates to this projection. For example, the wife that denies its own immaturity, you will find indecisive husband, upon marriage, she will have the opportunity to take an active traits at a time, as her husband would attribute to her leadership and omnipotence, at the same time, perhaps, blaming excessive parental position, aggression, tyranny, rigidity as if it carries infantile subordinate features of two things.

Because human relationships – it's a process, just like the man himself, this division may cease to be satisfactory and will push spouses to find new carriers of the split-off shit, what in essence, would be the wagering outside. The tendency to acting out the effects of cleavage instead of their study in the relations allows us to infer that sex played a security feature (keeping the excitation of the object) or Supervisory role (hold reject object at a distance from the ideal) in love relationships.

in Other words, the subject, entered into an extramarital affair, mainly located on the paranoid-schizoid position, and aims

search satisfy secure object if possible so to designate the manifestation of envy and the destruction of the existing relations [2]. The paranoid-schizoid position is a swing from a dangerous satisfaction, which occurs threatening the existence of the merger, to secure but unbearable pain. According to D. Sarfo, based on each category of extramarital Affairs is the acting out of splitting the object aimed at achieving a defined relationship with libidinally and antiliberalism objects [4].

Herbert Strin divided the unconscious dynamics that can be observed in individuals who are involved in extramarital relationships into four categories, which reflect the key properties of most of the novels: the spouse as incestuous object, the sex which is under the ban; the husband as the embodiment of the Super-Ego with which to fight; a love affair as a manifestation of bisexuality, especially if it involves more than the spirit of man, and communications, as protection from a symbiotic relationship with a spouse [4].

Thus, adultery is determined by the position of the subject, and experience of the primary object relations. The quality of primary relationships will be determined by the nature of the interaction with the mother, type of bonding, as well as how caring the object is a good enough mother, if we use the definition of D. Winnicott. And of course, since we are talking about sexuality it is necessary to consider the result of the passage of the Oedipus Complex.

in Addition to the above aspects as factors influencing the possibility of adultery can be considered cultural values, the history of the passage of the psychosexual phases of development, the nature of the interaction in the parent families of the spouses, the life stage of spouses, and integrative capacity of the family to overcome excessive cleavage.


1. Bion, W. Learning through experience. — M.: Kogito-Tsentr, 2008. — 128 p.

2. Klein M. Envy and gratitude. M., 1997.

3. Steiner D. Mental asylum. Pathological organizations in psychotic, neurotic and borderline patients. — M.: Kogito-Tsentr, 2010. — 239 p

4. Sharff D. Sexual relationships: Sex and the family from the point of view of the theory of object relations. - M.: Kogito-Tsentr, 2013. — 304 s.

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