we think that we give the right of choice to their children, but in fact in life, they go completely independent.

We are dictated to the child what shirt to go to school (justifying his action by the fact that he can't find clean).
We force the child to do homework (thinking that if he can't make it, he slide down on the two).
We give there the child only what we think is useful (let him, I think we and he actually goes on some candy).
We clearly regulate child hours of play on computers or walking in the street (not enough yet, so he wandered).
We even choose what kind of children he friends (throwing flattering comments to his classmates).
And then reaping the benefits. With it, I can't believe that we ourselves have nurtured such behavior in the child. br>
How to avoid these errors?
How to allow the child to make choices?
As soft to begin to explain to the child that the responsibility for your life each carries himself, regardless of age. br>
If You think he's too young and not ready to decide for themselves. the
And so take responsibility for yourself, then ask yourself the question:
-how will You carry it?
at what age do You think it will have to give back? the
- 18 years?
Well, that was child 18 years and You are talking about:
"All they say honey, you adult, you make the decisions, I'm giving you the responsibility." What's he going to do with it, if 18 years of age for him, all decided by You, it is not at all clear. br>
to Return a responsibility "gently" just enough, start to ask the opinion of your child.
for Example: If You are going to kindergarten, ask the child:
- Go on foot or by sled?
let's Say he chose to walk. Yeah, walking long and hard, but he realizes that may have made a wrong choice and next time will make another.

the Error will be, if You gave your child a choice, and then began to criticize him. Even if You initially know what he's doing is not the right choice, let him make it. br>
If the child is to sit down and do homework and doesn't want to read. Ask him what he plans to tomorrow?
If he says "5", then ask how many times he plans to read the text to get the desired rating.
Received for example "3" for the text remind him how many times he had read on the eve and how he thinks, how many it is necessary to increase the reading to achieve its goals.

Froze once, not taking gloves into the street, he'll know exactly what they need to take. br>
it strikes Me the education of my brother. It gives your child a choice at all, despite the fact that his son is only 3 years old.
Going out to walk with his son, he allows you to take any toy, saying that to carry it to you myself. The child naturally nods in response and after 5 minutes gives it to dad. Dad will never take it.
This behavior it teaches your child, in the three years to be responsible for every action, in his very young life. br>
some adults believe that not just the parents exist in order to take responsibility for their children. I'm not in no way think otherwise. However, to teach a child to make informed, deliberate decisions independent of cost since the first days of life, and not when he was executed eighteen years.

Ivanova Olga
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