Emotional manipulator, he's a psychological abuser, he's a narcissist, he's abuser, gaslighter, he's an emotional vampire. Such terms are now used by psychologists to describe the same phenomenon. I'm not going to describe severe cases of psychological violence, which are very easy to identify and feel even ignorant of the subject person. I want to touch light options psychological violence, which is not so easy to detect at first glance. I will describe some clear signs by which you can discern psychological manipulator not level 80, but somewhere the 30th)). These techniques are present in the Arsenal of abuser every day, every hour, every minute.. In General quite often.
1. He twists as cannot take any responsibility for his words or for their actions. It's sort of a slug resourceful and stubborn. He can escape from any situation and come out unscathed. It's never anything incriminating - it is always white and fluffy. It was all done, he's cute-Bunny. He is a great liability issue. Therefore, even if it is obvious that he gave the school, he would never admit it. His Arsenal of excuses:
- "it's not me, it's you, because I did, because this is you forced me, this is all in response to your actions, you started it, you too, you"... etc. As my grandma used to say, and she was a noble abuserga 80 level: "you make me one".
2. Again, because of liability issues and the reason he constantly distorts the facts. Whatever you say, no matter how you argued your resentment against him, he will never accept his guilt and again will turn everything on you - you are the cause of all negarestan in a relationship with him. He will say either "it was nothing" what you're saying, or - "it is you all in your sick head is born and you need to treat your brain," or calmly say with smile: "it was a joke. You can't take a joke?", and you at the same time from his jokes "sausage" so that you are ready to kill him. But it was an "innocent joke", you know. "It's all you stir up the situation, that's all you're ruining the atmosphere in the relationship with him, you just sick in the head. And he only does that tolerates you and loves you very much and is willing to do much to help you to recover."
3. Before the emotional vampire, the task is to get you from a negative emotion. So he gracefully will build his phrase, of these unimaginable pieces of words will cut out their sentence that when you start to boil the brains and you will begin to ask for explanations of what he meant, there will also be a bunch of very strange explanation, demagoguery, why he said so, and put this word ( which hurts you) and in General, he meant something quite different, and you got it all wrong. This applies to those cases where abuser light level puts pressure on your guilt, self-esteem, your dignity and self-respect. He looks like a digger who digs up gradually from the ground, make your prop is similar to quicksand.
4. It is sure to be you to devalue and blame is its two main Chernogorovym horse.
5. He never apologizes. And if you apologize, you will always feel in his apology fake. As abuser never apologizes without benefits.
6. And you are good to go. You get the idea: what if he's right?, and what really to me is not so, and it is so good and loving to me and all in a good cause? But when you are chronically being tormented by such thoughts - the work of abuser managed.
let me Remind you that about 80-th level contains more cool coercive techniques like the constant jealousy, and worst of jealousy to the past, control, openly attempt to establish power over you and the material aspect of manipulation here in full swing can be applied. And if abuser got on your emotion, he is not drunk will not rest. When you are already fighting in convulsions, he becomes calm and quiet as if nothing had happened balanced.
Why abuser all it does? Because he wants love, but doesn't know what it is. From childhood he was accustomed to the vilification and humiliation, and often to physical violence from parents. And for him to cause at least some emotion, but it is best to strong emotion - love means. Indifference to abuser worse than death. He does not know and does not understand how to love and arouse the response of love, so he first be sweet and nice buck in front of you deserves a beautiful love into your actions, and then he climbs his usual monster. The main idea is tormenting you abuser so you perversely loves you. Pulling from your emotions, he understands that you feel at least some sense. And the most terrible, than you can punish abuser is to leave it forever. He is afraid of insane. And does everything to make you leave. But then you leave yourself to be in a relationship with such a person. The choice is always there, even in relations with abuterol. And the choice is clear: to build up their resources, material including, by the way, at the expense of abuser to get an education, learn a good profession and ... to run...
Author Julia Lotonenko