One day, having been at an economic forum, I heard about the principle of diversification in the economy. Its essence in a few words about what you cannot keep the eggs in one basket, what sources of income should always be several. People who are seriously engaged in the economy, investment and business this principle at the level of the Holy of holies, raises questions, and it really works.

that night, oddly enough, I think that it's not only about economy but also about the psychology. From the quantity, quality and diversity of the sources of our domestic resources is directly affected almost everything in our life, such as self-esteem.
I will explain on the example to make it clear what I mean.

In neuro-linguistic programming experts have found that our self-esteem and ideas about themselves are formed of several components. Including this confirmation from the other people.

Imagine what such evidence that you are a valuable person you have several tens or better - a few hundred. And then suddenly there is someone who tries to convince you otherwise. It is logical that you will probably be surprised, but most likely won't even take offense, thinking that the man was just a bad day. Even if it's your own mom, is certainly not pleasant, but your ideas about yourself that hardly falter.

now imagine the opposite situation where confirmations from other people that you are some kind of (at least some) you simply can NOT. But there will always be your only family. For example, mom, dad, husband, wife... And it turns out that if you are no more close with anybody do not communicate, like it or not, the only people whose moods and attitudes towards you depends on your self-esteem and success... and this is a dangerous situation, because as we know, the family sometimes worse than enemies who want to control you under the guise of best intentions. To control the man to make it dependent on yourself, and to make dependent, the need to nowhere else he could not obtain what he gives to the manipulator.

Why manipulators often try to isolate their victims from uncomfortable for them to communicate with other "close" person in a narrow range of toxic family. After all, you can suddenly see the light and realize that you are not a fool, and a valuable expert, not ugly, but beautiful woman is not frigid, and just a lover you were so-so, not at all. but it is a sensible man...and you suddenly realize affect you and the more to persuade you, it will be very difficult. And the paddle will remain empty. In fact, the manipulators simply are unconsciously afraid to be alone and do not understand that destroying people with my methods, just do not know how to build relationships as something different. But that's not the point. And that because of their narcissistic injuries, they are in any way trying to protect its victims from the outside world, urging "anyone but me you do not need such anywhere you will not accept, you can't trust anybody except my mother..." In the course of going any means. as a result, the person often and he has even begins to fear that if he goes out to the people reject it even tougher and scarier. If a person at some point begins to believe in this nonsense, he turns on the hook and completely dependent on the opinions and approval of the manipulator. The sad thing is that usually these manipulators are just friends.
because of the misunderstanding in the family, people often instinctively run for the implementation in society, to get on the side of the missing state. Moreover, for this reason, even happen infidelity if the partner is already howling from the fact that it is not valued.
I did not say that all sociable people - people with a lack of recognition in the family. But the fact that a large number of confirmations from DIFFERENT important people automatically makes a person more mentally strong and sustainable - proven fact. And the fact that people with low self-esteem are often just locked in a narrow environment, the toxic family - the same fact as the fact that from misunderstanding people often flee into society, trying instinctively to protect themselves from destruction of their psyche....
And remember, a truly loving person who wishes you well, rather than trying at your expense to protect themselves from their own fears of loneliness and loss of control, never will you build insecurities, low self esteem, guilt and fear, will never mind that you are developing that have already chosen important, and certainly will not try to restrict your circle of friends.

So use the principle of diversification to create sustainable self-evaluation: don't put all your eggs in one basket, chat with different people and be open to their feedback and positive opinion about you.

Elena Nagaeva

Elena Nagaeva
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