the

 

 
 
AND IT's SO COLD LIKE an ICEBERG IN the OCEAN.


What's wrong with me, did he so quickly fell out of love with me, why is he so cold, why is it suspended?
Such a cry I often hear from people with anxious attachment. And the reason for that is because people do not know how to regulate closeness, turning the interaction into the addiction. That is, for their relationship, it's a full merge, if a partner does not share similar trends, it is perceived as razlyuli, rejecting, although it is simply that for him the merger is perceived as a takeover.
 
Explain how it works. One person in the pair needs to do everything together, sleep, go on vacation, to work, to sad, to happy, all thoughts and feelings to share with others. 
 
And for the person to rest comfortably alone, periodically spend some time alone, to selectively carry out joint activities, but to feel their autonomy, separateness from the other.
 
And if two such individual decide to enter into a relationship, then without psychotherapeutic education such links bercheny, why?
Yes, because one will want a mentally, and often physically impossible demands from the other. And if you do not know that the reason lies in early childhood, or different from each other formed attachment, where one is incredibly anxious, loses the support without the other, and the second only in solitude finds rest and stability. 
 
It will be impossible to accept as the norm, something that I love, appreciate, need me, but today I want to walk alone. Friends for people with avoidant attachment, privacy is the primary need, without which they can not do. While the impossibility of fusion, the other is perceived as rejection.
 
of Course the above does not apply to couples who are a certain number of years all enjoyed doing together, and a few years later stumbled on the change. Or contacts, which initially were one-time events. In these cases, the reason lies elsewhere.


2019-07-27
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