this morning, coming back from a walk from the Park with the dogs, met a friend of a woman. Years five in the morning we are often greeted. People walking with a dog breed bassethound. Beautiful, a bit clumsy dog named Basia. The same gentle, kind and friendly as his owner. No wonder people say, people a copy of their Pets, or dogs look like their owners, as if they had them, even characters.
the World of dog lovers rather interesting world. Each other many people know and more or less see, there is visual contact. World secret community of lovers is similar to many other communities, young mothers with children, or sitting at the entrance of the grandparents. My choice to walk alone, likes silence, not conversation, what breed, what kind of food it feeds, where have seen ticks. But to interfere with someone in a couple of sentences, like: "weather's great Today! or Your dog looks nice!" - it's easy. However, once with Luda on this cargotrans the intersection, we stopped. See she wanted to talk. Ever noticed that even the few people I know, often there is a desire to speak "heart to heart". Probably all psychologists fonyat, there is a fragrance called "I'm a good listener" and while now the deficit "And to talk about" more and more, especially from young, says, "My space, my time". People have forgotten how to empathize, to listen and to empathize. Sometimes just that to the psychologist come ready to pay for "talk."
Then we with Luda talked a lot. She told me that Basia bought her youngest son, who was then 20 years old, and a year later he died of cancer. They lived then the whole happy family in Tyumen. After the death of the son they with the husband were so hard that they fell to Moscow , perezahoronen it in the suburbs. White, crisp Tyumen snow and sparkling frost, the sun Folk recalls frequently and often dreams of that house and the neighbors. Basia is a relationship with his son. She longs for the son, the dog and bear , seemed like every day conveys her greetings from her son.
Generally, People with BASA was a landmark in our area. Many of them knew. In the morning, somewhere between five and six in the evening, for two hours slowly, very slowly, enjoying, they walked the area. A beautiful, leisurely, with dignity and with a smile greeted those who greeted them. People kind look and words, Basia presence and tail, resembling the movement included the windshield wipers of the car. During the day Basia walked Lyudin husband. He was under a tree in the yard, the dog lay Sphinx at the feet of the master. Both looked hurrying about their business passers-by, as well giving them a friendly smile, do something he and his wife are retired, so work is forgotten. I do not remember under what circumstances my husband and Luda we met. Introduced to each other was not exactly, but somehow miraculously greeted, joked and laughed like good, old friends. Sometimes during the day, when I was in a hurry to work and was running past the famous tree dressy, husband of Luda has always done fine, even aristocratic compliments. In General, in this family there is a spirit of the intelligentsia.
Then, somewhere in the spring, ceased to meet in the morning, People with Base. Often remembered, decided early went to the cottage. 've missed you in these few phrases in the morning, smile, radiant eyes and slavering muzzle basi, as if that neighborhood has changed without them.
Today I was called by the voice of Luda.
-People, Hello! How nice to see You. We haven't crossed paths!
Saying all that, I looked for Basia.
-Bashi no, he died in March.
Sobbing said Folk.
-Paws back down. Stopped going, then eat. Suffered very much. We had to put him to sleep.
it brought me to tears, you know what it's like to bury four-legged friend.
-Luda, I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry. Grieve now. Basia was a good dog.
Patting her shoulder I said.
Larisa, and in June, I buried my husband, a cancer of the kidneys. Year fought, the cancer won.
with a Trembling voice said Folk.
My psychological training and experience allow us to engage totally in the grief of the other, not merge, however, then, as signal light, turns on a psychologist. It can be seen, professional deformation. Probably, teachers who always teach and educate. Doctors immediately in emergency situations will do their medical work. Squad rush into the Inferno to pull people out of it. Profession it is to train. At the level of reflex skills are included.
We went with Luda on the track and she talked, talked and talked about their pain, anguish, confusion and loneliness. Occasionally repelled her, in order to go a new stream of words. Know that the baby would be good for her. Power of pain the loss of a spouse in the first place, on the second child.
When it parted, taking me by the hand, Luda asked looking in his eyes:
-why me? For what?
-Luda, this is for You. Your experience of life.
Larisa, just as painful eyes all the time wet, want to cry constantly. Barely holding it together.
Wiping a hand tears said People.
-Cry, cry, howl like a wolf, become a beast. Just do not run away from pain, don't suppress, stay.
after Talking a bit more, said goodbye agreeing to meet. I understand that having lost their men, it is difficult now to live her grief. Easier a little bit is when the habit of morning walks she walks around. Encountering familiar people, perekalivatsja a few words, Pat strange dogs. At home she is an orphan.
Going home was thinking what's the experience for me? As we would like, the fee for life, we don't know how to be. The rules of the game. Creates a life situation, we either go through the lesson and learning experience or not. Often live carelessly, as an immortal, not a nurturing soul. Believe that the trials prepared for us pass by. Forgetting about relying on the inner core, and not on an external crutch. Do not want to repeat banal things, they are so jaded that it's embarrassing to say them. More I repeat to myself, as she is the same sin: "Love yourself. To protect loved ones. Sympathize with living close to neighbours and it is not only people. Care about the environment in all aspects of life. To leave a pleasant aftertaste, and no bitterness. Just doing business".