Why is it important for us to be right?

did you ever participate in heated discussions? Any political, religious, scientific, everyday, about the meaning of life, the education of children or the order of being? In such, when things are tense and agitated, vibrates and wants to burst out, "well, how is it? don't you see? it's so obvious! it's clearly a fool!" well, and so on. We try to "reach out" to the dull and skeptical interlocutor, give examples, evidence, stories, statistics, and all that I can remember or invent. And he has his own view of the problem and did not manage to hear from him the coveted "Yes, and you're right!!!". Was impossible ever to persuade and prove? If Yes, discover the secret of success.
Why is so important to "change the world" or at least the point of view of another, on his own, hard-won personal experience and knowledge of life. I'm not a psychologist...I'm just learning, I like to say. And reading a certain amount (not very much, in universal scale) of books, articles, textbooks, understand one thing. Not is not necessary anybody in what to convince.

the Man is arranged so that its point of view on what the issue is formed here and now, it's a personal representation of the world and his experiences throughout life, his degree of culture and development. Trying to destroy the belief that we are encroaching on this "world", which is not always pleasant, it is perceived as an attack and then disabled analytical skills and we are ready to defend their beliefs, using their best arguments, their stories, facts and statistics.
Well, why we are so confident in their rightness? We think that a different opinion and can not be? But it turns out that the human brain has the ability to see and hear information that confirms when the already selected view, the ability to cut and simply to not hear opposing arguments, even if they are reasonable and understandable. Our brain loves us, and protects from cognitive dissonance, so we are not overrun, if that)))
Flipping through the news feed we are likely to stay and read what we know, what proves our innocence and caresses "neural network".

here is an example. Before entering University, I didn't know what "cognitive", "empathy", "reciprocal" well, a lot of a lot of things. I never heard about emotional intelligence, or existential therapy. And now? I have a feeling that everyone's talking about it, I always stumble on articles about the brain and the development of empathy, I come across posters on conferences, trainings and seminars. And everywhere, everywhere I say "cognitive functions"...No? Don't you think? And I Yes. And why no post about breeding sheep....weird.
it's also called "information bubble", creating the social networks, it is quite clear as is subscribing to specific communities, groups, sites, channels ...well, not for me to explain. The sensors caught the familiar symbols and values without our focused efforts...oops..."just yesterday remembered about this film, and now here, please link to it Oh Oh..."
so, what's the moral of the story? If a person built a vision of the world, life, situation, if in this world he is comfortable, e.g. going to Church, praying, fasting, or, say, to vote for Putin, it is NOT NECESSARY to TREAT HIM, believe me, his experience as dear to him as yours to you. Save energy and not convince anyone of the correctness. Perhaps respect for the opinions of others (social values) will keep your family, friendship, peace at work, but who knows what else... And as they say "don't learn to live, help us financially")))

Elena Sinelnikova
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