About the insult I wrote, today I want to talk about some of the consequences of this. Resentment as an emotional experience, always tolerated by the human isn't easy, of course, that in many situations people solve this problem simply by telling someone about the incident, and their feelings about this, but simply put, people need to complain about the incident, to speak to someone and get feedback in the form of support and approval from the listener. There seems to be all right, because you cannot hold a grudge to myself for a long time, the consequences really can be very unpleasant. But there is a quite real opportunity to get into a psychological trap.
most of the time, the following occurs when a person complains about something or someone, then he gets moral satisfaction. Spoke, merged the negative, you "in the head" was supported and it feels good. If this happens once it is quite normal, but it does happen, that person is starting to like to "psychological buns" in this way. And this pattern of behavior gradually develops into a habit, which in turn may greatly change a person's life.
Often, without knowing it, people become like the addict, it becomes necessary to obtain a temporary exemption from the offense, someone's approval and he begins to seek those whom he can complain. Not strange, these people are almost always there, and it's not that they genuinely empathize with, and that often such "listeners" there are problems with their own importance, and when such a person listens to "the Complainant" he certainly feels the need. Conclusions about the effectiveness of communication with such a person are obvious.
a Person who constantly complains simply "feeds" his offense or cultivates, or looking for new insults. Because for him it's important, because telling someone that offended him, he receives approval. It can become, over time, almost the only way of getting support emotionally. Communication with such people, to put it mildly, unpleasant, endless monologue of complaints and laments about everything. A vivid example of such behavior is the lonely elderly people who, over time, developed a habit of complaining.
In fact the desire to complain about everything and everyone, and many times it is children's position. But in childhood, a child looking for approval, for obvious reasons, when it starts to behave adult man he is called and considered a "whiner and a bore", which, in turn, can lead to big problems in communication. In addition, it can be assumed that the development of dependence is also quite real prospect for such a person.
of Course, to keep the offense in itself is not necessary, but to make it unnecessary importance, permanently complaining, is also not an option of releasing it. It is important to understand that the ability to forgive and break the cycle of resentment is largely dependent on how a lot of people take responsibility for their own lives.
Live with joy! Anton Black.