There is a special style of therapy: saturated with rhetoric about the need to be for adults, conscious, to see your own game and scenario setup, not to allow vile demons from the unconscious to affect relationships with loved ones, and in General to strive for personal maturity.
In this rhetoric draws a seductive picture of how it actually looks like the life of the "Mature personality". For example, is filled with rich meanings, events and experiences, creativity and passion in your favorite business, genuine intimacy and care in relations, combined with undying brightness of feelings... And the therapist if it is more zvezdataya, can talk about themselves as role models like a great life, and if it is more sane to talk about a certain ideal in which he believes and to which he is committed as its limited human power.
In the latter case, this can be very genuine and human, to draw the layer of existential values, and draw a ladder somewhere to a completely dizzying to the senses. And it doesn't even matter that the ladder rests on the heaven of abstract ideals and its very existence, the very possibility to make a few steps it can seem very necessary and important possibility.
the only Problem is that those who paint such an inviting picture of how it should be; often there are pictures of how not. On the bottom, and spiritual poverty. And so there is a flip side to the rhetoric of beauty, rhetoric, imbued with hatred of the pathology that destroys life. Endless articles about how horrible and destructive immaturity and unawareness as deadly narcissism how hard it is to survive with the border is all in my opinion, part of this rhetoric of hatred of weakness and limitations.
since formed the culture of intolerance of their own suffering to the problems, shame and guilt for them. And the shame and guilt that are cultivated as a fuel for the desire to get out from "bogs comfort zone", to the desire to change.
In its extreme, this rhetoric formed a special kind of BDSM treatment option. There are clients that masochistic kick ourselves for our own imperfections, and in this samogonovarenie find a special thrill and pride in their desire to better, to change. The pain they can experience in therapy itself becomes a kind of medal, a sign of "personal maturity". "Let me not all turns out, but look like I'm busting veins as I try and suffer in this diligence, respect me for that!" Well, at the other end of the therapist, which provides a sufficient level of sadism and pain to meet these expectations. Of course, with good intentions, in order that the client could realize how terrible and destructive that he makes with his own life that he got a chance to change. And so can be born, say, a kind of legislative impaled the rules about being late to the group have to stand on his feet, or that the withdrawal of one of the parties must lead to the completion of the entire group.
I am in General far from true to say that unhappy people, as victims fall into the net of particularly villainous sadistic therapists, although, of course, there are different cases, including a completely odious. I would rather that there is a certain kind of ideology, a certain type of word and the value of design that fit well in our cultural field. And often, they can easily spin this sado-masochistic dynamics, nourish her field of therapeutic interaction and communication in BDSM key.
Moreover, some of clients can feel comfortable in that and only in that field, someone may not think therapy out of extreme emotions and get through this emotional experience that subjectively is perceived as a significant and promoting.
But that is fundamentally impossible in this kind of "therapies" is to unstick my confusion between care and violence, and to establish the boundaries of self. And most importantly, there is no possibility to give a chance to exist the most pressured, devoid of words, the buried part of the personality that can manifest itself only through the symptom, through acting out. The silent, disconnected from living the pain she perceived as the enemy and not sympathetic. And once again only gets a portion of hatred.