"good girl!", "be good!"

How often do you say these phrases?

Children are not required to be "well done". They should just be themselves! This is the basis of a future for any child.

When the child becomes a "good boy/girl" — he loses his feelings, character, understanding that he needs the joy of life and himself as a person. It becomes "easy" child, but in adult life it can be difficult to defend their rights, hear their desires, to live their lives.

Parents can support children is to not lose yourself and to maintain its unique and inimitable personality, making mistakes, differing from all around, rejecting the foundations if necessary.

Why do we so often demand that the children are well behaved and were great?

REASON # 1. We repeat what is constantly said to us in childhood parents and other adults. Communicate with the child on the machine.

REASON # 2. We are afraid to embarrass themselves. I'm afraid not fit into the framework of society. We really want to create a good opinion about your child and about yourself.

REASON # 3 We are not afraid to fail. If in the childhood it seemed to us that the parents we blame, too harsh, demanding, hard on us and expect us to too much, we probably felt that do not justify their expectations.

How to stop constantly tell the child to "behave well":

Remember in what situations you say to a child "be good" or something like that?

Why do you say that? Try to better listen to yourself: what needs and fears are hiding behind your desire to be a parent "good" child?

you May do this automatically, and may be afraid of someone's criticism, or are you afraid to appear a bad mother or father, you fear that your child will get hurt or his behavior will all interfere, I think that he is a burden to others, or fear that something terrible's gonna happen, or... List your thoughts and emotions on this.

how much is feasible in practice to abandon "be good", "listen to teacher", "you are now well behaved in class?"In the beginning it will be difficult, but the important thing is to get you started keep track of these phrases in his speech. And that's what you tell your child instead:

"I Wish you to have fun."

"Bye, honey, I love you. See you later!"

"Call me if you need anything."

"a Good workout!"

"have Fun and say hi to grandma and grandpa."

Fedorenkova Olga
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