Be what I need


are you Familiar with strong desire to recognition from other people? The desire to be visible, need seen? The desire growing inside with each passing day, more and more clearly perceived and desired body with great force, but not settling in it, not entering it. Each new day gives birth to a new movement in it. And here long-awaited moment: recognized, noticed, but the feeling that settled in the body again begins to fade, as if that's not enough, we need more and more traffic to make sure that do recognize, do you see that are really needed. And turning into a squirrel, inside the wheel, you go round in circles.

the meeting place narcissistic injury, born in the parent message to the child like: I want you was the way I was comfortable was not the way I want to be you, then I will love you. What I want to be you, scares me, upsets, Angers and disturbs me.

Its depth lies at the origins of the rejection of a true representation of yourself - who I am who I am, what I love, what's important to me that I wonder what I feel, what I feel, and so on. This is the place where my true view of themselves replaced fake, such which, I think, I will love. This is due to parental failure to understand, accept and love your child with his carefree, impressionable, dissimilarity to them. For example, when a child does not meet the high expectations of the mother, causing her anger, in fear of losing her love, chooses to abandon the present, to reject and lose himself forced to hold a plank, which is necessary for the mother to compensate for her narcissistic injury. Attempt investing in the ideal, a false representation of yourself, try this way to regain the love and acceptance that he needed to make inside myself to open, to touch and to develop a true picture of yourself.

This time the children's powerlessness in the face of parental humiliation and idealization, surrender to the lack of support and necessary concern, blocking development at the point where they were able to happen the actual recognition itself. Rejecting and everything that was rejected by the other in an attempt to compensate for this loss, we increase the mask, which, we think, will be recognized by other. And more and more feel the anger and irritation on those people who allow themselves to be rejected by us.

False compensation self-image that occur in response to trauma may occur, for example, in the desire to look smart (when your parents told you not master, there you go, you will never be able to learn), to show how much made up on their own (when my parents said I'll do it myself, I got a better shot...broke a Cup...I told you that you are a cripple), and so on.

False I brings of pleasure and makes life happier and more increases the dependence and the desire for recognition and admiration, thus, distancing to grow into an Autonomous individual. More biting touch to the true self, for fear of facing inner emptiness, pain and anger within ourselves, we lose the ability to cope with them. At the same time a feeling of falsity in the presentation of his strength, competence, happiness separates us from the desired pleasure and support, leaving dependent from the outer acknowledgement and recognition of your successes and advantages.

PS I would be grateful for a repost on Facebook)

Lyudmila Snitko
Статья выложена в ознакомительных целях. Все права на текст принадлежат ресурсу и/или автору (B17 B17)

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